Jacob's ending happiness in his mind
by JacobXloverX2010
Summary: this is my version of the ending of Eclipse... not exactly how it really would've ended. I do love Edward, but I wanted to make an ending that made Jacob happy... much better than summary : first story, so review please!
1. A Heartbreaking Ending or Beginning?

"_No," Edward crooned, his voice seductive. "Stay just a little long." She wheeled and flew toward the refuge of the forest like an arrow from a bow._

He jumped after her, so much faster, so much more lithely, and just as he was about on her, she turned toward him, fury in her eyes. It was a split second decision, so Edward was caught by surprise. Suddenly, she had him pinned to the ground, and she was snarling like a mountain lion, her teeth inches from his face. She had him pinned by the shoulders, and he had her around the neck, holding her back. I could see that he was trying hard to keep her at bay, but her sudden fury and her seemingly last bit of energy was too much. She had him. I took all this in during the two seconds it was happening, too shocked to realize what was happening. Just as I let lose a horrible scream- I didn't think that kind of noise could come out of my mouth- and dropped my rock from shock, he looked up at me with loving eyes. He knew he was going to be torn apart. He mouthed the words "_I love you"_ to meas Victoria got her cruel and snarling teeth around his neck, and he closed his eyes. He had given up. I collapsed on the spot, turning my face as I did. The last thing I saw was his peaceful face as my eyes closed for what I hoped was the last time.

I woke up to bright sunlight and murmuring voices in the background. I couldn't open my eyes, so I tried to remember what had happened. _I must be in heaven,_ I thought, as I struggled to recall my dying moment. Then the blinding pain of the last few moments of my consciousness hi t me, and I was disappointed. If this was heaven, then why was I in so much pain? I should be opening my eyes to see Edward's face, so it doesn't matter that he died and left me to Victoria. It shouldn't matter that the look he gave me was so painful, and so sharply in focus, that it had broken my heart completely in half. Maybe Victoria hadn't even gotten to me. Maybe I had died from a shattered heart.

"Bells? Are you awake? It's alright; no one's going to hurt you. Open your eyes so we can talk." Someone was talking to me, and it wasn't Edward. Were there other people in heaven? I wondered… would they care if there was a vampire in heaven? - But that voice sounded familiar, like I had heard if very recently. As I tried to figure this out, I felt someone very, very warm touch me, and my heart practically stopped beating. I hadn't even noticed my heartbeat before now. As I thought over this new predicament, I realized that my heartbeat must mean the very thing I had always had nightmares about. I was alive. I was still alive, and Edward was gone. Someone, very possibly Jacob, wanted me to open my eyes but suddenly my eyelids seemed to feel like lead, weighed down by what I had just become conscious of.

"Please, Bella. I really, really need to talk to you. You are making me go crazy!" Jacob sounded worried, but I was still wallowing in my depression and wasn't ready to talk. Edward was gone, and he was never coming back. This wasn't like when he left the first time, because I knew he wasn't ever coming back- there was no chance, no daydreams I could make up. Maybe if I had known that he was alive, and at least thought he was doing well, then I could've opened my eyes and faced reality. I remembered Edward's words once, when we had talked about our relationship. He had said that there was no way that he was going to live without me, and we had shared a mutual understanding that neither would live without the other. What was I supposed to do without him? I couldn't go on living; there was something about that decision that almost seemed like a betrayal to him. The last thing he had said to me was "I love you" and that was what I was going to think about until-

"_Bella_, open your eyes!" Jacob had interrupted my wallowing- there was no way I was going to open my eyes now. I squeezed them shut tighter and heard him sigh in relief. "Thank God. That's the first time you've reacted in the past 46 hours." My eyebrows shot up, despite my conviction to not open my eyes. "Yes, you've been asleep for two days." I had really been asleep that long? Or unconscious, since I didn't remember anything that had happened. I was confused, and it must've shown on my face, because Jacob started talking again, in a hushed whisper that got stronger as he explained. "I see you aren't going to open your eyes, so I'll talk. As soon as Seth saw Edward on the ground, he tore apart Robbie, or Ronnie, or whatever that monster's name was, thinking that he would just burn him later, and he jumped for Victoria. But in the few seconds that she had, Victoria had gotten out a lighter- God knows why a _vampire_ would carry a lighter around- anyways, she got out a lighter, and... lit him... burned... damn it! I'm sorry Bella… she caught Edward on fire, and he burned as Seth wrestled with her, trying to keep her away from you, which he wasn't doing a very good job of when I got there. He was holding her off, but just barely. He was losing it, I could tell, and she was slowly gaining ground. I got there as fast as I could, and when I saw Edward... well, even I was in pain when I saw him, all... and you on the ground, with Seth barely holding off Victoria, I almost lost it. We burned Victoria, after Seth and I ripped her into a million little pieces, which was the best thing we could think of. I wanted to take her to Italy... I know that group of bloodsuckers that lives there can do some really horrible things, and I was hoping we could get them to do something to her, but the other guys didn't like that idea..." Jacob chuckled darkly, probably imagining the things that the Voltouri could've done to Victoria, and then he continued. "And the whole time, you were unconscious, on the ground where you had fainted. So I picked you up, and Seth and I brought you here. The fight is over..." His voice broke slightly, and my heart constricted. Who had we lost? Who was hurt? I didn't have much time to think about it, because he continued. "They're all waiting anxiously to here from one of us. I wouldn't let anyone go anywhere near you." He finished a little sheepishly, sounding slightly embarrassed by his over protectiveness. I wanted to open my eyes; to ask who had lost their life on my account. I took a deep breath, and opened my eyes. Jacob had his head turned away, looking out the window, with tears in his eyes.

"Jacob? Who is it?" My voice cracked slightly, and it was barely a whisper, but as he turned, he looked pleased for just a moment.

"Oh, Bella, you... it's not your fault. I know you thinking that, I can see it on your face. That was probably your first thought when I said... but it's not your fault... Victoria would've done the same thing, no matter what. She was too set on revenge; she would've brought havoc and destruction on us no matter what." He took my face in his hands, looking me right in the eyes as he spoke. I reached up to put my hands on his cheeks, taking his face in mine. His cheeks were wet, so I gently wiped away his tears.

"Just tell me, Jacob. Was it Sam?" He shook his head. "Seth?" My voice broke slightly when I said his name, but again Jacob shook his head.

"It... it was Quil. I didn't even get to... I didn't see it happen. I didn't get to say goodbye..." Jacob broke down, leaning into me like a child, his body shaking with the sobs. I wrapped my arms around him, tears now streaming down my face. Quil; Quil was dead, and I had never even gotten to thank him. He gave his life for me, and I barely knew him.

"I'm sorry, Jacob. I'm so sorry." It was all I could say, and I said it over and over again as I stroked his hair and rubbed his back. I tried to keep my arms around him, but as he encircled me with his huge arms, I resorted to just putting my arms around his neck, cradling his head.

"Poor... poor Claire; she's so devastated. She has been crying nonstop since we came home without him. She doesn't understand..." His voice broke again, but he didn't start sobbing, just closed his eyes and put his head on my shoulder. He was getting heavy, since he was leaning heavily on me, so I leaned back against the wall behind his bed, laying my cheek against his forehead. We stayed like this for a few minutes, not talking, just listening to each other's breathing, and Jacob's finally coming in even intervals as the sobs left him. After those few minutes of numbness, Jacob took a deep breath.

"I should probably let everyone know that you are alright. I'll be right back; I'll go call everyone." As he got up to leave, I panicked. What if he left me? I knew it was an irrational fear; Jacob would never leave me, he had told me that many, many times. But I had been left too many times already… so I reached for his arms, as I felt the panic in my eyes start to show. He turned back, and when he saw the panic in my eyes, he quickly sat down, crushing me to his chest.

"Please. I'm not ready to let you out of my sight yet, Jacob," I said, burrowing my head into his chest. "You are all I have left. Can't we just stay here? I don't want to see anyone yet- please," I said, tears welling up again.

"Bells, relax. I won't go anywhere, I promise. We don't have to go see them yet, but at least let me call them. My phone is sitting on the coffee table- you'll be able to see me the whole time," he said, trying to calm me down. I nodded, letting go of his arm. I watched him make his way over to the table, grab his phone, and then turn around and come back. He sat down next to me and dialed a number, holding the phone up to one ear and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I curled up into his side, trying to block out the conversation he was having. He stood up and went over to the window, making it easier for me to block out his words. I closed my eyes and buried my whole body deep under the covers, but I still started to shiver. When Jacob came back over to the bed, he looked at me, obviously alarmed.

"Bella, are you alright? You're shivering like a leaf," he said, sitting down and putting a hand on my cheek. I didn't answer him, just closed my eyes. I heard the bed squeak, and then I felt warmth all up and down my body as Jacob put his arm around me. "Do you want me to get under the blanket with you? You'd probably be warmer."

That would be betrayal- lying in bed with Jacob only two days after Edward had died… I shook my head frantically, squeezing my eyes shut tightly.

"Okay, okay, I won't- it's alright," he said, but I could hear the hurt in his voice as he spoke. I sighed- I would never be able to stop hurting him, no matter how hard I tried… but I had to try and explain.

"I'm sorry, Jacob, I know that hurts your feelings," I said quietly, keeping my eyes shut. "I just… I can't do that yet. It would feel like… betrayal. I would feel like I'm replacing him, and he just died two days ago. I just… I'm sorry." Jacob ran his hands along my face, pushing my hair back, and then he put it back around my shoulders.

"It's okay, I already said- I do understand what you mean… I know how much you loved him, and I know that this is hard for you. I just want you to know that I think he would be happy to see you with me. He told me a few times that I was better for you than him." I scowled, and he quickly kept talking. "I know you think that's not true, and I don't mean to impede on your opinions, I'm just saying that he would be happy to know that I'm here for you when he can't be."

We lapsed into silence then, and I slowly fell back asleep, trying not to think of anything and letting the darkness envelope me. Eventually I fell asleep, and the dream I had was horrible and beautiful at the same time.

In the first dream, I was standing in a green, lush forest, and I had no idea where I was. I felt panicked and scared, and I was afraid I would never get out of the forest, and I'd never see Edward or Jacob again. I walked one way, and then I started walking faster and faster until I was running. As I continued to run, I kept seeing movement out of the corner of my eyes, first on one side, then on the other. I would look one way, but there'd be nothing there. Finally, I started to see a large, brown shape that was up ahead, running in front of me. As I got closer, I realized it was Jacob in his wolf form, running slowly. I ran up next to him, and he looked at me with his beautiful eyes- they had tears in them, like he was crying… but he was a wolf. I reached out to touch him and his warm, soft fur comforted me. Then, on my other side, Edward appeared, running gracefully next to me. While I had been able to touch Jacob, when I reached out for Edward, he moved just out of my reach. I couldn't reach him, and it was upsetting me greatly. Jacob moved with me as I reached for Edward, and finally, we all stopped running. Jacob stood right next to me and Edward in front of us. What he said to me I will never forget.

"Bella, I love you, and I know you love me, but I also know you love Jacob. I am dead- you _have_ to accept that. Maybe one day we'll see each other… you always seemed so adamant that I would go to heaven, and I hope I have. For now, though, I want you to love Jacob. He has been a wonderful friend to you, and he was there for you when I wasn't. Let him help you get over me, and I know that he will be able to do what I cannot," he said, and his shoulders started to heave. The only time I'd ever seen a vampire cry was when we got off the plane from Italy and Esme was crying in the lobby. It was horrifying to see Edward cry. I reached out, my shoulders starting to shake, too, but he backed away, shaking his head. Suddenly, I felt Jacob's nose on my shoulder, and I turned to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my head in his fur. I looked at Edward one last time- there was such a longing in his eyes that it almost broke my heart… again.

He started to disappear, and I panicked.

"Wait! I love you, Edward, you can't leave me! This isn't fair!" I called after him, but he still faded away slowly, his shoulder heaving as he watched me.

"I'll see you in heaven, Bella. I love you." Then he was gone and I woke up with a start.

Jacob was watching me carefully, a masked look on his face. My cheeks were wet, along with the pillow I had my head on, and the blankets were all twisted around my legs and body. I took a deep, shaky breath, trying to banish the dream from my head, but it didn't work.

"You had a dream about him, didn't you?" I nodded, burying my face into the pillow. "You were talking very loudly in your sleep…" He quieted for a moment, continuing to watch me carefully. Then he took a deep breath. "Was it really bad?" I looked at him for a second, and then I leaned over, wrapping my arms around his chest and laying my head on his shoulder. He held me tight and leaned back against the wall, rubbing slow circles on my back.

"It was… bad. I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to sleep for a long time. He _talked_ to me… told me to move on and let you help me. He said that you've been a good friend to me and that you were there for me when he wasn't, and he can…" I had to stop as a sob choked me. "You can do… what he can't." I stopped then as my shoulders started to shake and I started to cry just like I had in my dream.

"It was so _real_, that was the worst part. He looked so beautiful, standing before me, just like my own guardian angel. It was horrible," I said, shaking my head as I cried softly. Jacob held me tighter, not saying a word as I cried.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but eventually, my stomach started to grumble.

"Are you hungry? You haven't eaten anything since before the fight, and I've barely eaten anything either. What should we have? Eggs? Toast? I can make those," he said, and I nodded.

"Sure. I'll come with you- then we can just eat in there," I said quietly. "I'm not _that_ hungry, so don't make too much."

"Well, I'm starving, so I'll make enough for me and a tiny bit more for you." I nodded, and he got up stretching up to the ceiling and then down to his toes. I pushed myself to the end of the bed, slowly getting up on shaky legs. I hadn't been up out of bed since I had passed out, and my legs were weak and achy, along with my back and neck and everything else.

We went into the kitchen and Jacob quickly whipped up a couple eggs and some toast. We ate in silence, and when he'd finally finished, I sighed.

"I guess we need to go find everyone… where are they?"

"Actually, they were all together at the Cullen's when I called. I'm not sure if they're still there… are you sure you're ready? We don't have to go over there if you don't want," he said, watching me carefully to see my response.

"Jacob, I'm never going to be ready… so we might as well go now," I said with a shrug, and Jacob took my hand, giving it a squeeze.

"I'll be right there beside you the whole time, I promise." I tried to smile at him, but I think it came out as more of a grimace. Then I thought of something.

"What… what does Charlie know?" I was afraid to face Charlie. He knew me better than anyone, and he would know that something was seriously wrong.

"We gave him a story… said that Seth, Sam, Embry, Qu..." He stopped at Quil's name, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "Quil, Paul, Jared, and I were on a camping trip and he was attacked by a crazy mountain lion, and we couldn't get to him in time… it's somewhat true. He _was_ attacked, just not by a mountain lion. And then, when we got back, we learned that someone had attacked the Cullen's house, and that you were only scared into fainting, nothing more. So just come up with a story about how you and Alice were sleeping upstairs, and all of a sudden someone burst into the room with a knife and started screaming, and you got so scared you fainted. The attacker… well, he got to Edward first, and Edward didn't… Alice can fill in the details, since she's there with the rest of the bloodsuckers." He scowled slightly, probably from the thought of what seeing them would do to me. And he was right. I didn't know how I was going to be able to look at Carlisle, or Esme, or any of them, and see in their eyes the hurt that mirrored the hurt in mine. At least I didn't have to pretend to be happy, like the last time Edward left. He hadn't done this on purpose, so I could mourn with the rest of his family. As Jacob guided me to the car, keeping his hand on my elbow, I thought the whole thing through. And that got me thinking about what Edward had said, about not living without me. Could I leave Jacob behind? I didn't think it was possible… Edward would wait for me, I knew he would. Could I keep living without him? It might be unbearably painful, but imagining the pain I would put Jacob through, and Charlie, and Renee, if I killed myself made that pain worth it. I couldn't give up being human just yet… and Edward would wait for me and understand when I got to him.


	2. They're Leaving

As we drove toward the Cullen's house, I was lost in thought, trying to figure out how I would be able to face them. They would be in so much pain, and it would only heighten what pain I was already in; I wasn't sure I could handle that. But I would have to, if I wanted to see them. As we turned down their driveway, I tried to keep myself busy thinking about what I would say and how I would act, but I couldn't help but let my mind wander back to all the times I had driven down this driveway… at the graduation party, when we had- No. I had to stop thinking about _him_ or I would lose it right there in the car, before we even saw the Cullens. So I locked my jaw and thought about other things, no matter how much I wanted to think about… I could see Jacob looking at me sideways, making sure I wasn't going to lose it, and I was grateful to him. I knew he would be able to comfort me and get me away from them before I broke any of their already broken hearts, which I knew I had the ability to do if I said one thing wrong. I had to make it seem like it was my fault; they wouldn't want to believe that he had given up. I would change the story a little, to make it seem like he had died fighting, which he had, until right at the end, when he looked at me… Not thinking about him wasn't working the way I had wanted it to. I had to be strong, for the Cullens, for Jacob, who I knew hated seeing me in pain, and for myself. If I let myself break down now, I wouldn't be able to put myself back together for a long time. And there was still the thought of seeing the pity and sadness on Charlie's face…

"Jacob? Is Charlie going to be there?" I asked in a small voice. He nodded, and I sighed. That wouldn't make things any easier. I was hoping to face the Cullens and Charlie separately, so that I could deal with them each on their own. But here I was, going towards a house with all of them together. "Who else?" I asked worried about what Jacob might say.

"The pack and their families, the Cullens, and Charlie are all there. That's it, I promise." He looked at me apologetically. "Are you ready for this, Bella? You don't have to come in; I'm sure they would understand if I walked in alone. Or we could just turn around-" I was shaking my head before he finished, and he trailed off, still looking worriedly at me.

"I have to go in there and face them, Jacob. Those people in there are all my family and I know there are people in there who are hurting more than I am." Jacob muttered something along the lines of '_I doubt that'_ under his breath, but I just ignored him. "These people care about me, and I care about them. Besides, I'm afraid this will be the last time I'll get to see the Cullens. I have a feeling that they are going to leave." I sighed, as the tears started to threaten to well over the edges of my already teary eyes, and he took my hand, pulling me to his chest for a quick hug before we got out, and then taking my hand as we headed towards the house. It was comforting, to know that Jacob was there no matter what. That he wouldn't leave me and wouldn't think I was weak when I cried with him. We had both lost people during that fight. I took a deep breath, and scrutinized the house as we walked towards the front door. It looked the same as it had the other day, before the fight. How could it, when the one thing that had drawn me here in the first place was gone? There was a general air of mourning around it, and that was what I dreaded facing. No one came out to meet us, but I knew that they all heard us; they must've been readying themselves for what they thought would be a sea of tears coming through the door with me. Well, I was going to prove to them that I could keep it together. I wasn't going to cry anymore today, I vowed to myself. Jacob went first, pulling me closely behind him. I dropped his hand when we entered, walking quickly towards Charlie, who held out his arms to me. The promise to myself that I would not cry lasted about two seconds. I almost collapsed into him, hugging him tightly.

"I'm sorry, Charlie. I know you were worried when I wasn't with Alice the other day. I just couldn't stay in this house. And Jacob offered to come get me, when I called to tell him, since I didn't want to face you the way I was when I found out…" I trailed off, so that I could keep my voice from shaking, even though the tears I had been trying to keep in were flowing down my cheeks. He kissed my hair, hugging me tightly.

"I know, Bella, I know. I'm sorry I wasn't with you when you found out. You know you can come to me whenever you need something. Don't ever think that just because you don't want to hurt me in any way you can't come to me. I'm always here for you, baby, in any way you need me. I promise. It's going to be alright." He repeatedly mumbled '_I love you,'_ which only made my tears come faster, as he held me close. The sobs hadn't come yet, so I turned to the Cullens. Alice flew to me, throwing her arms around me and whispering in my ear, much too low for Charlie to hear.

"I should've seen this. I shouldn't of let you two go alone. I'm so sorry, Bella. I-" I shook my head feverently, trying to stave off the sobs. I kept my voice to a low whisper, so Charlie and the werewolves wouldn't hear much of what I said. I had to assure Alice that none of this was her fault.

"No. You couldn't have seen this happening. Ed…" I could think his name, but I wasn't up to saying his name yet and I grimaced in pain as I tried. "…_he _said, as she came towards us, that it was definitely a split second decision. She'd been planning to go to the meadow and watch, but she caught his scent and decided follow. This is _not_ your fault." All of a sudden, I realized that everyone was crying. Even the Cullens were crying their dry, body shaking sobs, though no tears were flowing from any of their eyes. Charlie had his hands in his face, and I could hear the muffled sobs and sniffles coming from Seth, which shocked me as much as it shocked his mother and sister. Most of the werewolves were there with their families, and I could tell which one was Quil's mother because she was on the ground in a crumpled ball, sobbing quietly into her hands. The other werewolves were looking uncomfortable, along with pained and deeply saddened, and I wondered what they were thinking; were they mourning for Quil, or were they too nervous about all the vampires to mourn at the moment? Were any of them sorry that Edward had died?

"Bella, sweetie, why don't we go home? I'm sure the Cullens will be here tomorrow, and we really should get going," Charlie said, and I panicked. Would they be here? I tried to catch the eyes of one of them, but they all avoided my probing gaze, looking anywhere but at me. Now I was really panicking; were they planning on leaving? When I had just got over the fear of seeing them all in mourning? I could handle it; I was more worried now about them leaving then about what it would be like to deal with them crying. I looked at them, one at a time, Carlisle last, and he very slightly shook his head, giving me the sign I was looking for.

"I'm going to stay here for a few more minutes, Dad. Jacob will bring me home when I'm done. I… I need to do some things… alone," I said, forcing myself to turn and face my dad. He looked hurt, and I quickly tried to explain. "I'm sorry, Dad. I just… I need some time to think. I'll be right home, I promise. Just give me a half hour." He nodded like he already knew I would say that, and he left, patting me on the arm as he walked by.

"Everything's going to be alright, Bella. You'll see. I love you." This was the most sentimental I had ever seen my dad, and it surprised me. I didn't think he was capable of showing his emotions this way. But everyone surprises you sometimes… even the people you know best. I had learned that the hard way as I watched Edward be pinned down by Victoria. I wished, for a second, that I had been awake and alert to watch her be torn apart and burned. But then I realized that I wouldn't have been able to watch; it would've been too much like what she had done to him. Without realizing it, I started up the stairs, and by the time I was conscious of where I was, I almost collapsed on the spot. I was standing in his bedroom doorway, looking at the black leather couch. Everything looked so familiar, and yet I had no attachment to this room. There was nothing of _him_ left here, no thoughts, just memories that were all too painful to think about. I sighed, and went to sit on the couch, leaning back and closing my eyes. I tried to picture him standing in front of me, smiling his crooked smile that had always made my heart flutter and my stomach constrict. The image was so vivid behind my eyelids that my eyes flew open, hoping to see him standing there, telling me that it was just a bad dream. But there was no one. I was in his room alone. Then, suddenly, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I started to sob, uncontrollably, and I gave myself over to the grief. Edward was gone, the rest of his family were leaving me; everything had been screwed up because of _me_. I had ruined everything with my stupid human scent. If I hadn't smelled so good to James, then Laurent wouldn't have had to come back here, and Victoria never would've had a reason to seek revenge. Then Edward would still be alive and the Cullens wouldn't be leaving. Maybe I should kill myself just for ruining everything. Seconds after I thought this, I felt a slight breeze, and I opened my eyes. Alice was staring at me with huge, horrified eyes from about three inches in front of my face. I jumped back, scared by her sudden presence, and she let out a strangled cry.

"Bella, you can't. If you ever so much as _think _about suicide, I will keep by your side until you die of natural causes. We are always going to be keeping an eye on you, just not as close by as we are now. I promise, Bella, everything is going to be okay." Her eyes went blank again, and she sighed with relief. I had changed my mind again, going back to my original plan to stay with Jacob. "Your future has disappeared; does that mean you are going to stay with Jacob? I hope so… he's the next best thing for you, as clumsy and danger-prone as you are. Please, Bella. Just be happy with him. You two were meant to be together, and I can see, without seeing the future, that he loves you very much and he only wants what is best for you." She looked at me with pleading eyes, and I nodded.

"I know that. I love him too. I just wish…" She took me in her arms, holding me tightly.

"Yes, Bella. We all wish that, werewolves, vampires, and humans alike. But we have to leave. Esme is in too much pain to stay in this house, and I'm not sure how much longer I can bear it. I don't want you to be sad; we will come and visit and you must know that you always have our protection. All you have to do is think about committing suicide, and I'll be here fast than you can blink," she said with a wink and a small laugh. Surprisingly, I could laugh back. This feeling wasn't the same as the last time Edward had left me. I knew he loved me, and that was all I needed to get through life. As I walked back down the stairs with Alice, I could feel all the room gazing at me, and I looked up, catching Jacob's eye. He looked worried, and I was sure he had heard me crying, so I gave him a small smile. His returning smile lit up the entire room. My personal sun.


	3. I Have to Leave, Bella

I never got used to this; this comfort level that I had never felt with any human. The way we walked, holding hands, in complete silence through the silent wood. It was so reassuring; to know that I had this kind of bond with someone who I knew cared about me just as much. Jacob was like my other half, and I loved him.

"Tell me what you're thinking. No, wait, let me guess. Are you thinking about me?" he asked, with a cocky and quite goofy looking grin on his face. I rolled my eyes and punched him in the arm, only to remember that it didn't affect him. I winced as my hand hit his very hard bicep, and he laughed, grabbing my wrist.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. You'd think, after so long, that you'd realize that you are only hurting yourself when you do that," he said, kissing the top of my hand.

"It's the thought that counts. And actually… no I probably shouldn't tell you this. It's only going to make your already big head bigger." He grinned.

"You were thinking about me," he said, almost surprised.

"Jacob. We are walking alone in a forest. Is there really all that much else for me to think about?" I shook my head, and he kept staring at me, his mouth slightly open. Suddenly, he stared off into the distance, becoming serious, and I could tell he was thinking.

"Now it's your turn. What are you thinking about?" He just kept looking off into the distance, holding my hand in his. I started walking again, slowly, tugging on his hand. He followed me, and I knew he would start talking whenever he was done thinking. He stopped and pulled me to him, laying his head on top of mine. This surprised me, but I willingly leaned into him, wrapping my arms around him, even though I couldn't touch my fingertips around him. We stood like that for a minute, and then he sighed.

"Jacob? Is something wrong?"

"No, definitely not. Just the opposite, everything's perfect right now. I was just thinking about last year ago, when you were so intent on _not _being with me, and I was seriously thinking about leaving this place and leaving you. I don't think I would've been able to leave you, even if you didn't want me, but even thinking about it now gives me the creeps. Everything was so wrong, on my side anyways, and then… well things really changed. Bella, don't be mad at me for bringing that up. You wanted to know what I was thinking… I'm sorry." I shook my head, sighing.

"No, I understand. I don't blame you. Things were so different back then, but they've changed in a way I never even considered. I never would've imagined living without Edward after that time when he left, but this is different. I could move on, knowing that he really did love me, and he still does. Right now it's our time. Edward is waiting for me in heaven, and I'm okay with that. I love you here on Earth, during my life, and that's what counts right now," I said, looking up into Jacob's eyes. He slowly smiled, and I had barely finished talking before his lips were on mine, warm and soft. He was urgent, and for a second it worried me. Why was he so urgent? But then I relaxed… I was still trying to break old habits. Kissing Jacob was just so different then kissing Edward, who was the only one I had ever kissed before. Jacob was definitely less in control. As he crushed me to his chest, so I could barely breathe, I didn't mind. I was too intent on moving my lips with his, leading him and letting him lead me. Somehow I ended up against a tree, and he had me pinned there. I had to pull away, just so I could get a breath. We both stayed like that for just a moment, gasping for air. He was smiling, and that made me smile. He had been so happy lately, and all it did was made me happier. Maybe my life wasn't the way I had thought it would be, but it was the next best thing.

"Bella?" Jacob asked, looking me in the eyes. I raised an eyebrow, trying to take the serious tone out of his voice, but he barely smiled. "Bella, I… I have to tell you something." He stepped away from me, slightly and my heart constricted. What was wrong?

"The other day, Sam… well, he wanted to talk to me about you. He doesn't like that I'm so close to you, after what Alice said about always being here to protect you. He thinks I'm going to… slip up," he said with a grimace, and I could see where this was going. I started to open my mouth, and he hushed me. "Hold on. Let me finish. Sam thinks I'm going to… to _hurt _you, and that you'll run to them for help, and they will start a war with us." What! Sam really thought I would do that? Ouch… shows how much he likes me. I started to protest again, and again Jacob cut me off. "Don't. _I _know you won't do that, well, you won't need to do that, because I won't hurt you. But Sam doesn't understand. So he tried to go all Alpha wolf on me and force me to stay away from you, and… I resisted. See, I'm 'supposed' to be the Alpha, because of my grandparents, so when I resisted Sam's Alpha-ness, I became the Alpha wolf." He glanced at me and chuckled lightly.

"What? What's so funny!" He finished his childish laughing, and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Bella, you just look so cute when you are confused. Your nose-" I scowled, and he stopped quickly.

"Just get back to your story. What happens now? Can there be two Alphas in one pack?"

"No, there can't. And there's no way to reverse what I did, so I'm out of the pack. There's nothing I can do, unless I challenge Sam to a fight, and then I'd have to kill him. And I…" he stopped, shaking his head.

"No, Jacob. I don't think you _could_ kill Sam. Not saying you couldn't physically, but you two have been like brothers for so long, and I don't think you are a murderer. So what are you going to do?" I asked worriedly. What if he had to leave? Was fighting Sam his only option? He glanced quickly at me, and pulling me into his chest, he laid his head on my shoulder.

"Bella, I have to leave."


	4. I Would be Honored

"_Bella, I have to leave."_

All I could think, over and over again, was that this was a dream, and that he couldn't leave me. I stared at him, and I must've looked startled, because Jacob was being cautious.

"Bella? I can't stay here. If I go anywhere near Sam, I'm going to naturally want to fight him, and I'm not sure I could control myself. I've never had to deal with this kind of feeling before, and I'm afraid I'll get out of hand and hurt him. Bella..." He knew I wasn't going to respond, that I was shell shocked, so he just took me into his arms and held me. Finally I got over the shock and took a deep breath.

"Where will you go?" I whispered, and I was surprised at how fragile my voice sounded. So small and helpless.

"I'm not sure, Bella. I won't be far, though. I'll always be here for you, you know that, right?" I shook my head. This was ironic. I just kept losing the ones I loved, and I was starting to realize there was nothing I could do to stop it. Bad luck magnet, that was me.

"I sure do know how to clear a town, don't I?" I asked, with a sarcastic edge to my voice. He pulled away from me, and I saw the hurt on his face as he looked me in the eyes.

"No, Bella. This is not your fault-" I cut him off with a shake of my head.

"If I hadn't pulled you along so much, and just told you to leave, that I didn't love you, even if it wasn't true, then you wouldn't have gotten in a fight with Sam, and you wouldn't have to leave. Then you would still be happy. But now…" I shook my head, and buried my face in Jacob's chest.

"No, Bella. You've got it all wrong. You couldn't have gotten me to leave. I wasn't going to leave, because I was in love with you, and I still am. This is _not_ your fault," he said, and it almost sounded like he was growling. Now I had made him mad. Maybe he would want to leave, and the separation wouldn't be as painful for him. Unless…

"Jacob. What if I told you that I _can't_ live without you," I said, not looking him in the eyes, for fear of the pain that I knew would be etched on his face. "What if I told you that you leaving would probably kill me?" I stopped, and Jacob made a pained sound, almost like a whine. He pulled me to his chest and held me tightly.

"No, no, no, Bella. You can live without me. It's not supposed to be like this. I'm going to be the one with problems, _not_ you. You can find someone else," he said, stopping suddenly. I tried to push him away, and I ended up ducking out of his arms. I stared at him, horrified, as he held out his arms in confusion.

"What? Bella, what's wrong?"  
"_Find someone else?_" I asked, horrified. "Jacob, there's no one else alive that could even come close to you. You make me feel whole, almost new, like I was never broken in the first place. Even when I lay in bed at night without you, still, after all these months, it's painful. You take the pain away. Jacob, you don't understand what I'm telling you. I really, _really, _cannot live without you. If you leave, well, that's it. That's the end, and I'll go be with Edward." That was a lot more emotional than I usually got, and I could feel tears clouding my vision. Jacob gasped, and he looked like I had struck him across the face.

"You, you can't," he said in a strangled whisper. "Please, Bella. You can't let me be that important to you. I can't deal with thinking about you… about you _not_ being here. How? How can I make this right, so that you'll stay here?" He looked frantic, even desperate, as he stared into my eyes, and I could see the pain I was causing him. Suddenly, I got an idea.

"Let me go with you," I said in a small voice, looking away from his piercing gaze. He started, and I could tell I surprised him.

"You would leave Forks, leave Charlie, just to be with me?" he asked, clearly surprised now. I nodded, leaning back against the tree behind me. I was suddenly very tired. I felt… old. Like all the energy had been drained out of me. He stepped toward me again, grabbing my waist and pulling me to him. I sagged into him, laying my head against his chest and wrapping my arms around his waist. He was thinking, looking off into the distance, and I let him think, staying quiet as I listened to his heart beat against my ear. He took a deep breath, holding me tighter. "Do you want to think about what you said? I mean, I'm not even sure where I'll be going, and what would you tell Charlie? I don't think he would appreciate you running off with me, even if he likes me. And don't you want to finish out high school?" As he spoke, I was shaking my head.

"Jacob, I know what I want. And I want to stay with you. I'll tell Charlie as much of the truth as I can, and I'm sure he'll understand. He knows how much you have helped me these last few months. I don't really care about high school… I mean, yeah it's important, but not as important as you. I want to go with you," I said, putting as much strength into my voice as I could. I was afraid he wouldn't want me to go, because I would slow him down. What if he thought it would be too dangerous?

"Bella, I'm warning you now. Where ever we end up, there will be danger. I will be there to protect you, but there's always going to be danger. Vampires can smell me a long ways off, and they are going to smell you too. So we'll be moving a lot. And-" I put my hand over his mouth to cut him off.

"I don't care. I want to be with you, no matter what. I can keep up, and I promise not to be a burden. I won't complain about anything, and I'll eat whatever you eat," I said. He was going to let me go, I could see it in his eyes. Suddenly, he laughed.

"Bella, you won't be a burden of any kind. And trust me, you don't want to eat what I eat," he said with a chuckle. "I'll probably just eat as a wolf. I'm sure you can keep up with me, no problem," he said with a wink.

"So you really don't mind if I come with you?" He smiled, and leaned down towards me, giving me a light kiss on the lips. I got up on my tip toes to make the kiss last longer, and I could feel him smile.

"No, Bella, I definitely don't mind. I would be honored."


	5. I'm Baning Myself

"_No, Bella, I definitely don't mind. I would be honored."_

I sighed happily, and he leaned in to kiss me on the lips again, this time with more passion. He ran his fingers down the side of my face, caressing my cheeks with his hands. I reached up and put my arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer to me. All too soon, he pulled away, smiling again at my failed attempts to keep him there.

"Bella, we need to get back. It's getting late, and we need to talk to Charlie. Let's walk back, and I'll grab some clothes quickly, and then… could I? Would it-" he faltered slightly, and when I looked at him, he looked slightly embarrassed and definitely saddened by what he was saying.  
"You know you are always welcome at our house, Jacob. Are you really that unwelcome at La Push? What about your father? What about Quil and Embry?" Jacob shook his head.

"I am banning _myself_ from La Push. I don't want to see Sam, because I don't know if I'll be able to keep my natural instincts to kill him in check, and I don't want to hurt anyone. I'll just get some clothes, and say goodbye to my dad, then I'll be waiting for you in your room. Don't tell Charlie about me. We'll talk to him tomorrow morning." I nodded; that made sense. It was made me sad though, to see the sadness on Jacob's face as he talked of his home, La Push, as a place he couldn't go.

"Jacob? What should I bring? I mean, obviously a change of clothes or two, but should I bring shorts or jeans? Where are we going, like, in general? Warm or cold?" He was thoughtful for a second.

"I was thinking up to Canada, where we won't run into as many people. So I would bring warm clothes. Just make sure it's not too much to carry, because we're going to be doing a lot of traveling, and I don't want you to be carrying too much." I nodded, and the rest of the walk back to his house was silent, as we walked hand in hand, each of us thinking about the loved ones we were going to have to leave, and how we were going to say our goodbyes.

"I'll get my stuff, and then I'll run over to your house. I should be there in ten minutes, so make sure your window is open... if I don't beat you," he said with a smirk, then giving me one of his sunshine grins that I loved so much and a wink. I kissed him quickly, then jumped in my truck and headed home.

"Bells, that you?"

"Yeah, Dad, I'm home."

"Did you have fun with Jacob?"  
"He took me for a walk in the forest. We had a lot of fun. I'm tired, so I'm going to head upstairs and get to bed early," I said, giving him a peck on the cheek. "Love you, Dad."  
"Love you too, Bells. Get some sleep, kiddo. I'll see you in the morning."

I trudged up the stairs, pretending to be tired, and quickly got changed into shorts and a tank top. Before I went into the bathroom, I opened my window, just in case Jacob got there before I was finished. He hadn't gotten there faster than me, despite what he said. A few minutes later when I went back to my room, Jacob was on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, Jacob," I said, with a small wave. He half smiled at me and sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.

"You take forever in the bathroom. What were you… never mind. I don't want to know," he said, chuckling. I sat down next to him, flipping my slippers off and laying back with a small laugh.

"Where do you want me…? I mean, I can sleep on the floor…" he asked, looking slightly embarrassed. I crawled under my covers, patting the bed next to me. He looked relieved, and lay down next to me. I cuddled up next to him, lying on my side so that we were facing each other.

"Might as well get used to this if it's how we'll be sleeping for a while." I said, trying to smile coyly. He smiled and chuckled lightly, draping his arm over my waist and scooting closer. I could feel my heartbeat accelerate, and I wondered if he could hear it, like Edward used to be able to. He was so warm, and as I lay my hands on the bare skin of his chest, I could feel him flinch slightly at the temperature difference. I nestled my face into the base of his neck, closing my eyes. He pressed his face into my hair, kissing me on top of the head.  
"I love you, Jacob," I whispered, and I could feel him smile.

"I love you too, Bella."


	6. Attractive is so BORING

I woke up the next morning to sunshine on my face, and I almost panicked. What was today? Was I supposed to be in school? But no, it was Saturday, so no school. Then my second thought was to why I was so hot? I was sweating underneath all my covers! Then Jacob moved a little, and I realized he was still sleeping too, with his arms around me just like we had fallen asleep, except I had my back to him, turned away. It was comforting, laying there with my eyes closed and his arms around me, and I stayed like that for a few more minutes. Then I lifted his arm off me and scooted away from him, sliding out of bed. It was nine in the morning, which meant Charlie had already left for work- a few more hours to put off the inevitable. I started to worry; how was I going to tell Charlie that I was leaving with Jacob? I hadn't thought this through when I had told Jacob I was going with him, and I wasn't sure I would be able to take seeing the hurt on Charlie's face when I broke the news to him. Would he let me go, or would I have to _tell_ him I was leaving? I stared out the window at the sun trying to come out from behind a cloud, and I thought that was how I felt. I was going to get to spend time with Jacob for who-knows-how-long; real alone time that we almost never got. And _that_ excited me. But that came with a price; I had to leave my friends, leave the house I had called a home for the last couple years, the one place I really felt I belonged, and worst of all, leave Charlie. Of course, I could keep in touch. I would bring some paper and write letters to people whenever I could, and I would try to call, but it wouldn't be the same as seeing them in school every day or waking up and knowing it was just Charlie and I until he left for work and I left for school. And it would be a one-way connection- with Jacob and I constantly moving, no one would ever be able to get a hold of us. It was nice to have constants in my life, and Charlie had always been one of them. He didn't get all mushy on me when something happened, he was never that easy to talk to, but I knew that he cared, and that was enough for me. We could live, very peacefully, without talking. As I was thinking, Jacob must've woken up, because suddenly his arms were around my waist and his chin on my shoulder.

"Bella, I can tell you're worried. You know, you could always just stay here with Charlie, and I could come visit you…" he said. I shook my head.

"I _already told_ you, Jacob, I can't stay here without you. Too many things would hurt. No, I'm going to follow you wherever you go, even if you don't want me to. You're stuck with me, sorry." I smiled, teasingly apologetic, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Trust me; I know what I'm doing. I'll be fine, I'm just feeling a little separation anxiety, that's all," I said with a shrug. And really, that was all it was. This was the same as going away to a college that was far away, which was what I had been thinking about doing before I came to love Forks. Jacob still looked unconvinced, and as he was about to say something, I gave him a kiss on the lips. "I'm hungry. Why don't we go downstairs, and I'll make some breakfast." Jacob's eyes brightened at the word breakfast, and I laughed.

"Yeah, I'm kinda hungry too," he said, flashing his sunshine grin at me. We both headed downstairs, and I started searching through the pantry for something to make. I ended up making 8 eggs for the two of us and 3 bagels, 2 for Jacob and one for me. As we ate, Jacob talked about all the places he wanted to see, and how the two of us were going to travel all over the place, and see amazing things together. All I could do was smile at Jacob's enthusiasm. He seemed so carefree when he told me what he was thinking. I hoped he would be like this all the time when it was just the two of us. All day he talked of this place or that place, and he told me story after story of how him and his father had traveled to New Mexico and other places, while I did some chores around the house. I had a load of laundry that had to be washed and dried, and dishes that needed washing. By the time I was done the chores, it was around noon, and I could hear Jacob's stomach from across the room.

"So, Bella… are we going to eat lunch?" I laughed at the comical worry on Jacob's face, and I made him something quickly, having a sandwich myself. Jacob continued his stories about this place and that place, and I realized that this was what I was going to have to listen to while we were traveling. He would never stop talking, and I would never stop listening, so this would always happen.

"Bella? Bella, are you even listening to me?" Uh oh.

"Of course I am Jacob. You were talking about that time when you and your dad…" Jacob laughed.

"I changed subjects about five minutes ago! I was actually trying to ask you what you meant by that comment last night about getting used to sleeping the way we were," he said, smiling.

"I just meant that we would be sleeping close to each other for a while, so we should get a head start on it," I said, and Jacob started smirking. "What? What's so _funny_!" Jacob was laughing uncontrollably now, and he could barely choke out an answer to me.

"Was that your way of being _seductive _last night? Were you trying to insinuate something?" he asked, still chuckling, as my face took on an injured expression. Was it that obvious? I was only trying to be a little sexy… but I wouldn't tell Jacob that, because he would laugh and laugh and laugh and never let me hear the end of it. He hadn't ever really matured in that way.

"_No_, Jacob. I was _not _trying to be seductive. I was only saying that sleeping near you will be a challenge, since you are a human-sized space heater." He didn't seem convinced, and I knew I wasn't fooling him. "Just be quiet, Jacob. I'm trying to get some things done," I said, putting slightly more acid in my tone then I had meant to. I turned away quickly and went into the laundry room, where the clothes were done drying, and I started folding clothes. I focused on the clothes, not thinking about the boy in the next room who I was dangerously attached to, and who had just told me that my "sexiness" was hilarious to him. After about twenty seconds, I felt Jacob's very warm hands massaging my shoulders, which I shrugged off, and tried to ignore him.

"Bells, relax. It wasn't funny, I promise. It's just that… well, I shouldn't have laughed. You _can_ be seductive and sexy when you want to be, but last night you just weren't at your best," he said into my ear, and then he kissed me on the ear, making his way down my neck and along my chin.

"Jacob, don't. I'm not…" As his lips reached mine, all my resolve to deny him everything vanished, and I turned into him. I could feel him smile, and I pulled away. "Jacob Black. _Just_ because you can destroy my will power gives you _no_ reason to be cocky, so don't even think that you are seductive _or_ sexy." By the end of my little speech, Jacob had one of the biggest smiles on his face I had ever seen on anyone, and he reached down to kiss me again, cupping my chin with his huge hands. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself closer to him as he leaned down. Suddenly, he picked me up bridal style and, closing the dryer with his foot, he proceeded to take me upstairs, kissing me the entire time. He laid me down on the bed, leaning over me and never breaking the kiss.

His lips were so warm and soft against mine, and I kissed him until I was dizzy from lack of oxygen. I broke away with a gasp, and as I listened I realized I wasn't the only one deprived of oxygen. Jacob was breathing even heavier than I was, and I could feel his heart beating quite fast against his rib cage because our bodies were so close. I looked at his face and saw his beautiful eyes staring back at me, analyzing my face in a way I wasn't use to. I blushed, and he smiled.

"I love when you do that. It makes you look very attractive," he said, kissing me on the nose. Attractive? That wasn't really what I was going for…

"Attractive? Hm, that's interesting," I said, trying to make attractiveness seem boring by my tone of voice. I wanted him to tell me I was sexy, no matter how much I told him I didn't care.

"Is that a bad thing? Most girls would kill to have a guy tell them they think she's attractive, and then I do tell you, and you sound _bored_. What would you rather I told you?" He seemed genuinely confused, and when I looked at him I giggled… like a little girl. Guess I was proving him right about the attractive comment.

"Nevermind, Jacob. It's not a big deal. I like that you call me attractive, at least it means you like me," I said with a half smile, and he frowned.

"What does _that_ mean? Of course I like you… why wouldn't I?"

"That's not what I meant. I mean, at least I have someone who loves me. The girls who are desperate for attention are the ones who jump for joy when a guy tells them they are attractive."  
"You aren't one of those girls, obviously. So what kind of girl _are_ you?" I think he was starting to catch on, and I smiled at him, looking up from under my eyelashes.

"I'm looking for _more_ than just attention." His eyes lit up as I said it, and suddenly he was pressing me very tightly to the bed with his weight. I didn't even have time to take a breath before Jacob's urgent lips were on mine, different then the kiss we had just shared. His hands slid between me and the mattress, and he pulled me toward him, cutting off the circulation in my back. I didn't care though; all I could think about was his lips on mine, and I subconsciously ran my hands through his hair, and stopped at the base of his neck, twisting my fingers into his hair. His lips moved away from mine, and along my jaw line, ending at my ear.

"I know this is what you wanted to hear," he whispered. "_That_ was sexy, when you said you were looking for more than attention." His breathing got ragged, and I tried to laugh, but I didn't have enough air.

"Jacob," I managed to choke out. "I can't… I can't _breathe_!" Instantly, the pressure of his body on mine disappeared, and he was balancing on his elbows, looking me in the face with concern in his eyes.

"Was I putting my weight on you?" he asked, alarmed. "I'm sorry, Bella, I didn't notice." As soon as he said it, he bolted off of me. "Damn it! Why? Why did he have to be right? Damn it, damn it, _damn_ _it_." I lay there in shock. What was he talking about? I sat up slowly, turning to look at Jacob while trying to keep my face from showing the shock and hurt that I felt. What had I done wrong?  
"Jacob, what's wrong?" I asked, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

"I…" he stopped, running his hands through his hair as he avoided my gaze, something he only did when he was hiding something. "I think we should stop for now. When does Charlie get home?" He seemed to be trying to steer the subject away from what had just happened, but I wasn't going to let him. I got up and closed my door.

"He gets home at 5, Jacob, you know that. Now I think you need to tell me what just happened. We aren't going to be able to live with each other and keep secrets," I said, with a hard, almost hurt-sounding edge to my voice that I hadn't meant to be there. I took a deep breath, and walked up to Jacob, trying to lift his face so he would look at me. When I did catch his gaze with mine, I felt like I was looking into a puppy's eyes. As soon as he looked me in the eyes, he gasped slightly.

"Oh, Bella! I hurt your feelings, didn't I?" He took my face in his hands and kissed me on the forehead. What was going on? Where had that passion he had shown me just a few minutes ago gone? Was I really that horrible at kissing? Had I scared him? What was his problem? I pulled away, pushing him back.

"Jacob! _What_ is your _problem_? Just a second ago, I was kissing you very happily, and now you're getting all… all… I don't know!" I said, almost yelling in my frustration. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair again. What was he hiding from me?  
"Bella, I can't do this. I'm not as strong as Edward mentally, and you know that."  
"_What _are you talking about? Of course you're as strong as Edward was! All those times when I could see you wanted to lose control, when you were even shaking, but you didn't phase, and you didn't hurt anyone!"

"No, Bella. That's not what I mean. Right after Edward came back, we had a conversation about how I would be better for you than he would, and he agreed. But he told me that even I couldn't stop myself from hurting you, eventually. That's what I just did… and I'm sure I'll do it again. I don't have enough willpower or mental strength to think about treating you carefully while we are kissing, and when I don't think about it, things like that- I completely squished you- happen. What will happen when you… I don't know. I don't want to hurt you!" By now, he was sitting on my bed, and when he finished talking, he let his head fall into his hands, looking dejectedly at the ground.

"Not you too. Why does everyone think they need to protect me! I. Can. Protect. Myself. _You _don't have to worry about me, _I _will worry about me. Jacob, that was nothing. So you squished me a little… I have a brain too. I knew you were squishing me, and I told you I couldn't breathe. Disaster averted. No big deal," I said with a shrug, trying to convince him. He just kept his head in his hands and didn't say anything, and I sighed. If he was going to make this hard, then I was going to play dirty. I pushed his shoulders back so that he had to lift his head, and as he did, I sat on his lap, straddling him. He seemed shocked for a second, and I could see him hesitate for just a brief second, and I took my chance.

"Jacob. How long have we been together? A long time, yes. And how many times have you done anything at all to hurt me? Once and all you did was slightly squish me, which is no big deal, despite what you might think. I still need you, and I would like to think you still need me. I don't care whether you _squish_ me, because all I have to do is say something, and you can get your weight off of me. So please, just forget whatever Edward said, I'm sure he was just trying to scare you off. The only way you can hurt me is if you leave me," I said, with a tone of finality in my voice. He just looked at me through my entire 'speech', and when I was done, he sighed.

"Bella, it's not that-"

"Don't you _dare_ say it's not that easy. Because it is, you're just making it harder. We can work through this _together_, and that's enough to get us through anything."  
"Wait, just let me say this. I wasn't afraid of _squishing_ you. I'm more afraid of what I'm going to do to you if… I don't know. What if I lose control one day, or phase too close-" I shook my head fervently.

"I know that any of those things could happen, and yet I'm still here, on your lap, ready to give you my heart. Actually, I already have. There's no going back now, Jacob. Like I said before, you are stuck with me whether you like it or not, and you aren't going to get rid of me easily." With that, I kissed him, trying to put all my feelings, of love and safety and absolute adoration. His lips were hesitant, and he didn't seem to want to pull me closer, so I wrapped my arms around his neck and tried to push him back onto the bed, kissing him the whole time. Finally, as I was about to give up, I could feel him give in and he started to kiss me back. Slowly at first, but I could feel his earlier passion start to build up and the kiss got more heated. He put one hand in the small of my back, pressing me closer still to him, and the other hand ran up and down my back, giving me goose bumps wherever he touched. I marveled in the softness of his lips, the way they molded to mine so tenderly, and I realized I love him. I loved Jacob more than I loved anyone on this earth. I had finally gotten my claim on Jacob Black.


	7. Telling Charlie

"Bella? Jacob? I know you're here somewhere. I'm home!" Charlie's voice pierced through the quiet solitude of the house, and I pushed off of Jacob, grabbing my shirt from where I had thrown it just a few minutes ago. We were _always_ interrupted, no matter where we were. I sighed, and Jacob chuckled as he pulled his shirt on over his head and looped his arms around my waist. He was still sitting on the bed, and I was standing, so when he pulled me towards him, I was higher than he was. He quickly pecked me on the cheek and then he looked up at me with a wink.

"Only a little more time, Bella, and then there won't be any interruptions." I smiled, and grabbed his hand, trying to pull him off the bed.

"Kids? Where are you? Come on down here," Charlie was calling, and I wondered what he was thinking as he said that. Did he know we were upstairs on my bed, making out? Probably, which is the reason for his loud and obnoxious calling, something he hardly ever does. Jacob and I, still holding hands, went downstairs, and I took a deep breath. I was going to have to tell him now what was going to happen. It would be the best time. Jacob looked at me with sympathetic eyes, and nodded encouragingly. At least he would be here with me, just like he always would.

"Hey, Bella. Hello, Jacob. What a surprise to see you here today," Charlie said with a wink and a chuckle. Jacob was always here, and he was making a joke about it. Good, that meant he was in a good mood.

"Hey, Charlie. How was work?" I tried to make some small talk, hoping he would ask me how my morning went. Then I would bring up the subject of Jacob and me leaving…

"Uneventful, like always," Charlie said with a chuckle. He was in a really good mood… "How as your day?" This was it. How would he react? Would he beg for me to stay? Or would he understand and let me go? Would he forbid me? Would he kick Jacob out for putting this idea in my head? It was now or never.

"There's actually something I need to talk to you about," I said, pausing to take a deep breath. Jacob squeezed my hand, and I kept on going, the words starting to tumble out of my mouth. "Jacob is leaving, he got in an argument with Sam and he can't stay here anymore. Since I can't stay here without him, I'm going to go with him. We were thinking about going up to Canada and finding somewhere to stay, but we aren't sure yet what we are going to do. You have to understand... Jacob has been the only thing that has gotten me through losing Edward, without him I don't think I would still be alive, and I'm afraid that if he leaves, I'm not going to be able to keep myself from doing something that I don't want to think about," I stumbled through my explanation, aware of Charlie's shocked gaze, moving from my face to Jacob's. I took a deep shuddering breath and finished before Charlie could recover enough to interrupt me. "Charlie, you have to understand... please. I _need_ Jacob to live. I need him to breathe... I need him the way... the way I needed Edward. Wherever he goes, I have to go, otherwise..." I trailed off, waiting for him to say something. He just kept staring, openmouthed, from my face to Jacob's. Slowly, his cheeks started to color, and I could tell he wanted to yell, to scream, to do _something_, and I knew how he felt. I knew what it was like to want someone to be safe, to be well-off, and then to have them leave you of their own free will... it was heartbreaking. But I _had_ to, because otherwise... well, I wouldn't be here. I took another deep breathe, this time glancing at Jacob. His eyes were fixed on my face, frozen in a glass mask that was unresponsive. When I caught his eye, it was like I had broken that glass; he visibly relaxed, and I could feel myself do the same. Whatever happened now, we were in it together. I had gotten out what I wanted to say to Charlie, and now it was his turn to say what he wanted. It would be painful, yes, and probably not what I wanted to hear, but the worst was over. He reached up and wiped my cheeks, clearing the tears that I hadn't even known were there. All of this happened in a split second, and suddenly Charlie growled.

"I can see that I'm not going to be able to change your mind," he said, and I could hear the defeat in his voice. I shook my head slowly and he sighed. "Jacob... I like you. I like you a lot, and you know that. I don't hold grudges for long, but right now, you are the problem. If not for you, Bella would be staying here with me, but also, if not for you, Bella very well could've killed herself already because of Edward, and I see that. So I am not going to forbid you to go with him, Bella," he assured me as he saw the panic start to come into my eyes. "But Jacob, if you aren't out of my sight in five seconds, I might deck you." My mouth dropped open, almost hitting the table. _What?_ Where did _that_ come from?  
"But Charlie, it's not his-" Jacob cut me off with a wave of his hand and a shake of his head.

"Charlie, I understand. I would say the same if this was happening to my future daughter... and I hope it doesn't. But I _promise_ she'll be safe with me." Charlie nodded curtly. And with that, and a quick peck on my cheek, he was gone.

"I'll be upstairs," he whispered in my ear as he left, low enough that Charlie couldn't hear. He went out the front door, and I assumed he'd climb up the tree and into my room later. I turned back to Charlie, furious, but just as I was about to scream at him, I noticed he had sunk down into one of the kitchen chairs, and his head was on his hands.

"Charlie? You didn't have to do that, you know. You won't see him again before we leave..." I sat down next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Charlie?" He wasn't responding, so I got up and went upstairs. I opened my door and lay down on my bed, face down, and I quickly grabbed my pillow to muffle my sobs. Why had it gone that way? Why did Charlie have to be like that? I had played that conversation over in my head a hundred times, and not once had it gone that way... as I cried as quietly as I could into my pillow, I heard my door close softly. Oh no... Was it Charlie? I quickly whipped my head around, intending to tell Charlie to get out, but it was only Jacob. He lay down on his side next to me, and I curled into him, getting as close as possible. He sighed and started rubbing my back in circles.

"Bella... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you do that. I should've just gone and talked to Charlie myself..." As he apologized, I shook my head. How had he spun this around to be _his_ fault? I was the one who had screwed it all up... I opened my mouth to tell him to stop blaming himself, but I didn't have any voice. I coughed into the bed and tried again. This time it came out as a whisper.

"_Jacob_. Don't blame yourself... you are starting to sound dangerously like Edward. That conversation was _not_ supposed to end the way it did. Charlie... he... I don't know," I said, shaking my head as I felt fresh tears spring to my eyes. "That wasn't supposed to happen... I shouldn't have let it happen. I'm apologizing _for_ Charlie, since he won't apologize. Can we just forget about it? I really want to get out of here now. Charlie just gave me more reason to leave." Jacob looked me at me, scrutinizing my face. I let my emotions show, not even trying to hide them from him, and when I let my emotions take over, I started to shake. Jacob noticed this, and I could see it in his eyes.

"Bella, just tell me that didn't hurt you. Tell me that you'll recover from seeing your dad the way he was. Because if that permanently hurt you, I... I'll go down and talk to Charlie right now. I'll let him do what he wants to do to me and say what he needs to say. If it will keep you and your dad closer, I'll do whatever it takes." He pushed off the bed, clearly intent on making things right between my dad and me. I reached for him, trying to hold him to me.

"No, Jacob. Things will be fine, I'm sure. Like Charlie said, he doesn't hold grudges for long. The next time we talk, things will be fine. And I'm fine, don't worry. I'll be fine. Can we just finish getting ready to leave? I want to leave tonight," I said. I had just decided... I wanted to get away from this place, from Forks, from everything, as soon as possible. Jacob could see the panic in my eyes as this feeling of claustrophobia set in, and he almost smiled.

"I see it in your eyes. You really want to leave, now, don't you? That's how I feel... like this little town is suffocating me. Yes, we'll leave tonight. We can head out after dark, so we can get as far as possible before light. Once it gets light I can't travel as a wolf anymore, 'cause people are gonna get a little freaked if they see me. But in the dark it should be fine. We'll probably travel more at night then in the day. Just a few more hours," Jacob said, stroking my hair gently. I took a deep breathe... I only had a few hours. I had so many things to do! I would write Charlie a letter where he would find it, explaining everything again, and telling him that I loved him and that I would keep in touch. He would have to understand that I couldn't say goodbye to him, not after what he had done today. I pushed myself off the bed, gathering the clothes that I would bring and putting them, as compactly as possible, into a small backpack, with my wallet and my much worn copy of Wuthering Heights. I looked around my room; what could I bring that would remind me of home? I settled on a picture, which I took out of its picture frame, of Charlie, Renee and I before they had divorced. Charlie had his arm around Renee's shoulders, holding her tightly to his side, and she was holding his hand, her other hand around my shoulder. I was only about ten in the picture, but it reminded me of the happier days, the days I didn't have much memory of, when I had a mom and a dad who lived together and were happy. Back when my fairytale involved a prince on a white horse coming and sweeping me off my feet, not a dead vampire who I was deeply in love with and an adolescent werewolf who I couldn't live without. I liked to think of home as back when I was oblivious to the twisted fairytales that were going on around me.


	8. On the Road

We were leaving... tonight. This was it. No more house, no more Charlie, just Jacob and I. Was I nervous? I was _terrified!_ What if…? There were so many things that could go wrong. What if something happened to Charlie or Renee or one of my friends from school, and I couldn't be found? What if I missed my own friends' or, heaven forbid, family member's funeral? No, I wasn't going to think like that. I would talk to Charlie whenever I could, and I _wouldn't_ think about what could go wrong. Jacob and I were lying on my bed, ready to go. My bag was underneath my bed, where Charlie couldn't see it if he came up, and Jacob was ready to hide, just in case. The covers were up to my chin, and I had my eyes closed, trying to remember every smell, every sound of my house so that I wouldn't forget it. Suddenly, I felt Jacob tug at my hand, which he was holding underneath the covers.

"Bells, I'm sorry but we should probably get going. Charlie's been in bed for almost an hour, and I want to be far away before he wakes up and finds you gone. 'Cause I know he'll call my dad as soon as he finds out, and I'm not sure what my dad'll do when he finds out you left with me… anything else you need before we go?" He was trying to make it seem like we were going on a road trip, which in a sense we were… a _long_ road trip. I shook my head.

"Let's just go. I'm ready," I said with a small smile, trying to show Jacob that I wasn't scared. He grabbed me around the waist, swinging me onto his back as he stood up. My breath caught in my throat as I sat on his back, and a million flashbacks went through my head as I remembered the last time I had been on anyone's back...

"_What_ are you doing?" I hissed into his ear, trying to keep my voice low. He turned his head slightly so he could talk quieter.

"Do you mind? It'll be a lot quieter if you stay up there," he said with a slight chuckle. I sighed, and nodded my head.

"Alright, let's go, please." I looked around my room one more time as Jacob started to head downstairs, and I took a deep shuddering breath. I had promised myself I wouldn't cry, and I was going to hold it in for Jacob. I couldn't let him see me cry, because he might decide that I couldn't come, that this was the wrong thing to do... and I couldn't afford that. I looked at my bed, made neatly with the letter sitting on my pillow. Everything was neat; neater than I'd ever been able to keep it. Would Charlie realize that as soon as he walked into my room? That it was too neat, and that I was gone? What would he think when he realized that I had left in the middle of the night? But I had to… I wouldn't have been able to see the disappointment in Charlie's eyes as he watched me walk off with Jacob, and I wouldn't have been able to explain why we weren't taking a car. Jacob could carry me on his back, or I could walk. There was no need for a car... but Charlie wouldn't have understood. All he would've done is ask questions, questions neither Jacob nor I could answer. So it was easier this way...

"Bells? Are you awake back there?" I started as Jacob called my name, and looked around. We weren't anywhere near Forks anymore, that was for sure. The woods were different... browner, less green.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm awake. What's up Jacob?"

"We're getting close to a town, and I was wondering if you were hungry?" That confused me for a second. Jacob had money?  
"Jacob, do you have money? I thought I was just going to... eat whatever I could find. I mean, I know you eat raw meat when you're a wolf, so I didn't think... I didn't bring any money," I stuttered along, blushing more and more as I went along. Jacob chuckled and swung me around in front of him, setting me down. My legs were weak from riding on his back all night, and I almost fell before Jacob caught me again.

"Bells, I'm not going to tell you how I get your food. If you need to know, then I guess you could say I have money, yes," he said with a shrug, not quite meeting my questioning glance.

"What? Jacob... just don't _hurt_ anyone, okay? I'd rather eat berries and stuff," I said, waving my hand around at the forest, "then having you hurt anyone, or rob a store to get me food." He shrugged.

"No one's gonna get hurt, and I won't rob any stores, okay? Anything in particular you want before I go?"

"Nope, anything is good, just get some food," I said with a grin, and I sat down right where I was. He looked at me, puzzled.

"I'm going wait right here for you, because if I start to pace or something while you're gone, I'll get lost..." I said and he laughed.

"Bells, don't worry. I'll be back in, like, twenty minutes. Just go back to sleep," he said, squatting down in front of me so he was at my eye level. He kissed me lightly on the lips, and he smiled as I pushed myself up on my knees to get closer to him. "Love you, Bells. See you in a minute," he said, running his hand from my ear down my jaw line. Then he was gone.

Now what? What was I going to do for twenty minutes while he was gone? I couldn't get up and walk around, because then I'd probably get lost and Jacob would worry when he got back. I stood up, just to stretch my legs, wriggling my toes. It felt so _good_. I was stiff from being on Jacob's back all night, and I could feel the weakness in my legs. I leaned against a tree nearby for support, and then I sat back down. Stretch session was over... I let my mind wander, wondering what everyone back home was doing. Was Charlie up yet? Had he found my letter? I decided I would call him at the next town we got to, just so I could make sure he was okay, and to let him know I was okay. What was Angela doing? She was probably on her way to school, just like every other morning. I chuckled; how different this morning was turning out to be from my normal morning. Usually, I woke up, got dressed, and went downstairs to get some breakfast. This morning, I had woken up on Jacob's back, in the middle of a forest I didn't recognize, and now I was waiting for him to come back with food that I didn't even know how he got. Before I knew it, Jacob was back with food. I ate, and he just watched.

"What are _you_ going to eat, Jacob?" I was curious to see how he would react to my question. He smiled impishly at me.

"Meat," he said with a shrug, trying to fake nonchalance but never taking his eyes off my face.

"Yes, I _know_ that. Where are you going to get it? I mean, do you just turn into a wolf and eat like that?" He looked puzzled.

"Why do you want to know? Don't worry about me getting enough to eat, I get plenty."

"I'm sure you do… but do you actually, like, _hunt_? Like a wolf?" My voice pitched up at the end, and he laughed, holding my face in his hand.

"Yes, Bella, I hunt. Like an animal… which is what I am when I change into a wolf," he said with a slight hint of sadness to his voice. I frowned. This conversation was taking a turn for the worst. Soon we would be on the subject of how wrong he was for me, because he could hurt me. As I tried to think of a way to change the subject, Jacob sighed and got up.

"Where are you going?" Why was he getting up and walking away? He chuckled and stood in front of me, holding out his hand.

"I was actually going to ask if you wanted to go for a walk. I already ate, and you're done now, aren't you? Let's find somewhere to stop for the day so I can get some sleep before we start again." I grabbed his hand, and he pulled me to my feet, putting an arm around my waist. I kept a hold on his hand, marveling at how small my hand was compared to his. My fingers barely reached outside his palm.

"Jacob, I can't get over how dwarfed I feel when I'm next to you," I said in a slightly teasing tone. "You're like a giant!" He looked down at me smiling and gave me a kiss on the top of my head, which he actually had to bend over to reach.

"Bells, you're just so tiny, I _seem_ like a giant. I'm really not too much bigger than most _normal_ people."


	9. I've Got You Right Here

**So, it's been... awhile haha sorry about the longgggg delay. I've got the next couple chapters, but i'm going to spread them out so you keep reading :) i hope you enjoy this one... it's kind of an inbetween**

**none of the characters belong to me... i wish some of them (Jacob Black!) actually did, but i can't even pretend they do... they're both Stephenie Meyers' property**

**ENJOY!**

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The stars were so beautiful. I was lying on my back, staring up at a night sky that seemed huge. There were no lights or buildings to disrupt or wash out the brightness, and the vast sky was completely whole. Everything was perfect; the grass was soft, molding to the form of Jacob and me lying together. He was on his side, facing me, with his head on his arm. His other arm was draped over my waist, and I could feel the warmth radiating off him. I snuggled closer to him, because the wind was picking up and starting to get to me. Jacob's arm tightened instinctively around me and his eyelids fluttered open. I only smiled at him, and turned my face back to the sky. He glanced up at the sky, and then I could feel his eyes on me as he pressed his face into my neck, breathing in deeply.

"Why are you awake? It's the middle of the night," he said, his voice heavy with sleep.

"I've been looking at the stars. You can go back to sleep," I said, running my hand up and down his arm.

"Mmmm... I think I'll stay up with you. What have you been thinking about?"

"I haven't been thinking about anything," I said with a smile. Jacob propped himself up on his elbow, looking at me curiously. "I don't need to think about anything. I've got you right here." I patted his arm, and he smiled, leaning closer and closer until he was completely blocking the sky.

"I love you," he said, and before I could answer him he pressed his lips to mine. His lips, so warm and gentle, moved slowly with mine, and he rolled onto his back, pulling me on top of him. He let his fingers play up and down my back, knowing that he was giving me goosebumps. Everything was quiet. The only sound I could hear was the grass blowing in the wind. We lay together, not talking, just listening, our arms intertwined. Finally as we watched the sun rise, he sighed.

"I should probably go get something to eat," he said, with disappointment weighing down his words. I laughed quietly and turned towards him, propping my head up on my elbow.

"I'm getting hungry, so you probably should. See if you can find something good. I'll see what I can find around here." He nodded and kissed me on the forehead, getting up and running off into the woods. I heard a wolf howl, and I knew he was off hunting. I walked around the edge of the meadow, near the woods, searching until I found what I was looking for. I picked as many good berries as I could find and sat down right there. I sat there for awhile, eating my berries, when suddenly, to my right, the bushes moved. My head snapped up and I stared at the bushes trying to see what had moved them.

"Jacob?" The bushes moved at the sound of my voice.

"Jacob? Don't be stupid," I said again, and this time my voice shook. Just as I took another breath to try one more time, the bushes parted and a huge russet wolf pounced on me, yelping and wagging his tail. I smacked him lightly on the nose, laughing.

"Jacob! You scared me! That wasn't funny!" I tried to sound mad, but the relief was making me giddy. Jacob looked like he was smiling as he stood over me wagging his tail. Suddenly he left, running into the woods, and I sat back up, shaking my head, and ate a few more berries while I waited. About a minute later Jacob came walking towards me half dressed in jeans, with a huge smile on his face.

"Did I scare you?" He laughed, and I teasingly scowled at him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"No! I knew it was you the whole time," I said. He kept laughing, and put his arm around my shoulder.

"Sure, sure," he said, with a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes and shrugged off his arm, turning back to my berries.

"Did you find anything good?"

"Yeah, I set it over the fire. It's cooking now. What did you find?" I held out a handful of berries, smiling proudly. "Mmm those are good," he said taking a few. Then he got serious, looking at me a little bit sadly. "I know you really like this meadow, and I do too, but we've been here too long. I went close to town, and I heard some people talking about a big animal they'd seen out in the woods- that would be me, and that kind of talk is bad. We're going to have to move again." I twisted up my face, grimacing darkly at the bush in front of me. Jacob put a hand on my shoulder, and then walked back out to where the fire was slowly cooking the meat he'd somehow found.

I got up after a minute and went to sit down next to Jacob, staying quiet. He put his arm around my shoulders, hugging me tightly against his side as he watched the meat. He turned to look at me and gave me a quick peck on the top of the head.

"I'm sorry; I know you don't enjoy this moving around thing- we could try to find a deserted cabin somewhere far away from other people, if you wanted. As long as we weren't within ten miles of any sort of towns or villages, I think we'd be safe for a long time. Would you like to try and find something?" Jacob watched me the whole time he spoke, trying to read my facial expressions.

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**Review please please please please please! I read them all... helps me come up with new ideas and improve my writing! Thanks :)**


	10. Snowed In

**Here's the next chapter... I got a couple reviews on the last one :)**

_**just a reminder... again... DON'T LEAVE NEGATIVE COMMENTS. IT'S NOT ANYTHING I CARE ABOUT. GO WHINE TO SOMEONE ELSE ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU DON'T LIKE THIS STORY OR DON'T LIKE MY CHOICE OF CHARACTERS!**_

**This isn't one of my best chapters... but it's pretty long, plenty of action, plenty of JacobXBella, so I find it an interesting one haha I hope you do too!**

**ENJOY!**

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We had finally found a place. It wasn't within any sort of walking distance of any houses or towns or even buildings- it was _all by itself_. That would mean that no one taking their afternoon walk would happen to stumble across it and find a werewolf or even me all by myself- we would be left alone. Jacob could run to the next town when he needed to, and he could give me a ride also, if needed. The cabin was small, only one room, but very well built. Jacob guessed it to be at least a hundred years old, but my guess was only fifty. It was in very good condition, and the bed felt like a feather mattress (although that could've just been because I hadn't slept on a bed in quite a while). There was a corner that was like a bedroom, with a bed and a dresser that had a broken, dusty mirror on it. In another corner there was a small wood burning stove and oven. There was a fireplace on the far wall that was pretty big, and with a wire rack still inside, which could be used for heating food up. There was a small pantry kind of room (with a bathroom next to that) in between the fireplace and the stove that had pots, pans, tools, a mop, a broom stored in it. There were a couple chairs near the fire, and they all had very tattered quilts on them that appeared to be hand-made. There were no windows in the house at all, and the door was very crudely made, so that it barely fit into the door-frame. Jacob made a new one right away so that the wind was kept pretty well at-bay.

After we had officially settled in, we got a really bad snow storm that actually snowed us into the house. Jacob had guessed the storm would be bad, though, so he'd gone into town and got us all kinds of canned foods and boxed pastas, so that we would have enough food to last us through the storm. We had built a fire, which warmed the whole room nicely, since I didn't want to just hug Jacob _all_ day, although I still did for most of the day. I used all the old quilts and piled them up in front of the fireplace, and made myself a nice nest of warm blankets all around, Jacob behind me, and the fire in front of me. We poured a bunch of cans of soup into one of the pots and I hung it over the fire on the rack, so that it was warm all day for us to eat.

As day slowly turned into night, Jacob kept going out to get more wood, but it was getting much colder in the cabin. When he went out the final time, he was gone for a solid twenty minutes, and by the time he got back, I was shivering violently as the fire crackled and popped very weakly. I had tried to keep it going, but after having my hands out from under the blankets for five minutes, I'd gotten too cold. When Jacob opened the door to come in with the wood, I buried myself deep under the blankets until he could get the fire going again.

"Hey, Bells, fires going again. Come out from under the blankets, or at least open them so I can get in. You need to warm up a little," Jacob said when he had finally restarted the fire. I pulled up one arm, looking out the small crack in the blankets to see where he was, and then I wiggled around and tucked my arms around his waist, pressing my face against his warm skin as he inhaled sharply against my cold hands and cheeks.

"Bella, you're _freezing_. I've only been gone twenty minutes… _how_ did you get so cold?" He seemed worried as he dug his hands into the blankets, trying to get his arms around me to warm me up. I just shrugged, not really wanted to talk at the moment since I was too busy marveling at the warmth radiating off him. He sighed and leaned back against one of the chairs, and I scooted closer to him, laying my head more on his shoulder and moving the blankets so his skin was directly touching me.

We lay like that for a few minutes, and then suddenly Jacob snapped up and he sat up straight like he'd been electrocuted. He seemed to be sniffing the air, and I watched him, intrigued and worried at the same time. It was like flipping on a light switch- everything about him had changed. Where just a second ago he'd had a softness about him, now he seemed hard, chiseled, like he was coiled to spring. He got up, going into a crouch as he stared at the door menacingly, a horrible grimace on his face. Then he looked at me, and his eyes softened a little. I could see the worry in them, and it scared me.

"What," I whispered, knowing he wanted me to stay as quiet as possible. "What's happening? Who's out there?" I kept my gaze locked on his, never moving my eyes for a second, knowing already what he was going to say. He stood up a little straighter, coming over to me.

"I want you to go over by the fire. Stay as close as you can to it… there's a vampire outside. I smelled him as soon as he was down wind of us. I'm going to try not to phase unless I have to, but if I do, stay out of the way. I won't hurt you if I know where you are." He turned and grabbed one of the half burned sticks, holding it out to me. "Use this as a barrier. He won't come anywhere near you if you keep it out in front of you."

I stepped toward him, taking the stick from him and kissing him quickly, and then I stepped back, crouching down next to the fireplace with the stick held near me.

"I'll be in this corner if he comes toward me. Then I'll be able to keep him away. Jake," I said, as he turned toward the door. "_Please_ be careful… I'd rather we just ran away than you fight him. You can run a lot faster than him when you're a wolf. Please?" I looked at him, trying to get him to look at me, but he wouldn't.

"Yeah, I'll make sure you're safe, don't worry," he said, giving me a smile that I wasn't sure the meaning of. I sighed, hoping against hope that he wouldn't try to keep the vampire away from me and hurt himself in the process. I backed up against the wall, trying to push the thought from my mind as I focused on the door and what was about to come through it.

I had to admit, I was nervous. The last vampires I'd seen who were trying to kill me were the newborn vampire army… and Victoria. Jacob had ripped her apart, but what about this one? What if he had powers that Jacob couldn't foresee, what if he hurt him in some way that wasn't fixable?

There were too many what-ifs running through my head; I needed to stop. I put my full attention toward the door, waiting for the vampire to break it down. As the seconds ticked by, I started to get confused. Where was he? Could he smell us inside? Probably not… he was surely coming up with a good solid plan to get into the cabin and get a hold on both our throats.

Then, suddenly… there was a knock on the door. Not a loud knock, just a polite 'knock, knock, knock.' Jacob's face was a mask of shock, his features quickly going from his horrible grimace to shocked to a polite and calm face, with a hint of worry.

He opened the door a bit and stuck his head around so that the vampire could see him.

"Hello? Who's crazy enough to go out in this weather?" He opened the door far enough that I could see the vampire, and I held my breath, not able to take my eyes off him.

He was handsome, even as far as vampires go. He had curly blonde hair and his skin was the palest ivory I'd ever seen. He was really muscular or tough looking, but the way he held himself, you'd of thought he was a pro-wrestler. His eyes, on the other hand, were a very, very dark burgundy color, which I had never seen before. As I thought about it, I realized that I actually did know what this vampire's burgundy eyes meant… I had seen Laurent's eyes when he had attacked me in the meadow, and they had been a lighter shade of burgundy, since he'd been thirsty. The darker the burgundy, the more thirsty they were, and this vampire's eyes were almost black, which meant he was very desperate to get to me, and maybe even Jacob if he still needed it. That scared me; a desperate vampire wasn't likely to run away if there was any chance he could die- he'd keep fighting to get to me until he died.

"Hello. I was just wondering if you could lend me your hospitality for the night and allow me to sleep in your cabin. It is terribly cold out here, and I am sure to die if I stay out much longer. You see, I was taking a walk in the forest when the storm hit, and, stupid me, I was too far away from my house to get back without getting lost. So I stopped, and when it stopped snowing, I started walking again, but I seem to be lost, and it's very chilly." He was so polite as he talked, but his dark eyes were giving him away, flashing toward me every couple seconds. I shifted positions next to the fire, and suddenly his nostrils flared. He looked at Jacob for a split second, and then he attacked.

Everything happened in a matter of seconds. Suddenly, there was a large russet wolf and a vampire locked in battle in the middle of our cabin. They were both moving so fast that I could barely see them, and I definitely couldn't tell who was winning. As I watched, horrified, I heard a yelp followed by a horrible cracking sound, and then Jacob was on the ground in his human form, howling screaming in pain. The vampire moved toward me, and I held the fire out in front of me, swinging it at him as he came closer. He hissed every time it came near him, but it kept him away.

"What do you think you're doing? You're werewolf friend is gravely injured- he won't be walking for at least a few hours," the vampire said, his eyes narrowing as he glanced at Jacob curled up on the floor. "You can't hold me off for that long- you're going to die tonight. I might kill your friend, too. He's smelling better and better by the second." The vampire's voice sounded slightly like a snake, and his eyes, now that I saw them up close, had very thin pupils, almost like slits, so that he looked even more snake-like. He terrified me, and as I watched him pace back and forth in front of me, I knew he was right- I couldn't avoid death any longer. I loosened my hold on the stick, and right as I did, I knew it was a bad move. He attacked so fast that I didn't even have time to get the stick anywhere near him- suddenly it was across the cabin and he had me pinned up against the wall.

For reasons I'll never understand, but that I'm very grateful for, the vampire took his time. He had me in a very tight grip on both my arms, and he took a deep breath, his mouth very close to my neck. My eyes were closed, and I was already thinking about what I would say when I saw Edward. The vampire's hand moved down my arm to my wrist, and he held on so tightly that I felt like my wrist was going to break in half- but it didn't. He took another deep breath, and then he looked me right in the eyes, a satisfied smile on his face.

Just as he was leaning toward my throat, Jacob, in an instant, phased and pounced on the vampire's back, ripping off his head and toppling him backward. As he and the vampire fell to the ground, Jacob phased back to human, and he cried out in pain, his face screwing up into a painful grimace that would haunt me for a long time. I stood still, shocked into silence for a few long seconds, and then I quickly dragged the vampire's head, and then body, into the fireplace.

"Jake?" I put a hand on his shoulder, intending on rolling him onto his back, but he groaned in pain as soon as I touched him. "Jake, what happened?" He was scaring me. He hadn't moved since he'd fallen almost five minutes ago, but I'd heard groans and growls coming from him. I continued to watch him, and then suddenly he let out a scream like I'd never heard before. I got up onto my knees, waiting for him to say something to me, but he just continued to scream and he started to writhe in pain. I reached out to touch him, and this time he turned, looking at me.

"Please, Bella, don't touch me. That bloodsucker crushed me like a tin can- broke a buncha my bones. Help me onto the bed, and then stay over by the fireplace. I don't want you to see me like this, and you need to stay warm," he said in a strangled whisper, and I quickly helped him, putting an arm around his shoulders and half-dragging him over to the bed. I sat down once he was lying as comfortably as I could get him and took his hand, running my hand across his forehead. He shook his head, trying to talk, but all that came out were grunts and groans. I tried to keep my tears at bay as I watched him, but eventually they fell anyways, making small trails down my cheeks.

He moved a lot- every time his body started fixing a bone, he'd writhe and twist in agony. By the second time, I moved to the ground. Him moving around on the bed was bad enough- whenever he bumped into me, I could see his face screw up even more. I needed to stay out of the way and let his body do what it needed to.

After I'd been sitting next to the bed for what felt like hours, I started to shiver. Jacob's body wasn't giving off the kind of heat that it usually did, since it was working overtime to fix itself. He was sweating like crazy, but he didn't even feel warm. I had to move closer to the fire- I was going to freeze to death if I didn't, and Jacob wouldn't be very happy if, after everything he'd done to keep me safe, I died of something stupid like hypothermia.

There was still a lot of wood by the fire, but no matter how big I made it, I just kept on shivering. I got as close as I could to the fire and I tried to block out Jacob's cries of agony. I covered my ears with my hands and pulled all the blankets around me and over me, but it didn't help. It was like we were connected- even when I had all the blankets around my head, I could still hear his piercing whimpers and cries of pain, and it was driving me crazy.

When the noises finally stopped, I don't know. I lay by the fire, all the blankets over top me, shivering like a leaf for what felt like days.

"Bella?" I heard a half strangled whisper from the bed, and I jumped up so fast that I almost fell back down again. Jacob was lying there with his eyes half closed, covered in sweat, and he even looked like he was shaking a little bit. I knelt down next to his head, running my hands across his face and wiping the tears from both our eyes. He started to talk again, but I put a finger to his lips.

"Shhh, please. Don't talk, you need to get better. I threw the vampire into the fire as soon as you… decapitated him. He's been burned for a long time. How are you feeling?" I didn't want him to worry- everything was taken care of, so he needed to stay where he was.

"I feel like I was just pulverized about a hundred times in a row. All my bruises should be gone in another hour or so, and hopefully I'll be warm again, since I can feel your cold hands. How's the fire going?" Jacob tried to sit up, but I put a hand on his chest to keep him down. He was so weak that even I could push him back onto the bed, and that scared me a little. "Jake, are you sure you're going to be okay? I just… I've never seen you this _weak_ before. I'm a little scared…" He half-heartedly smiled at me and closed his eyes, mumbling something about 'being fine' as he passed out again. I sighed, watching him for another second and then going back over to the fire. This time I used the blankets as a nest, since I didn't have to block out Jacob's screams anymore. I curled up tightly right next to the fire after throwing a few big logs into it, and I quickly fell asleep.

"Bells? Are you awake?" I heard Jacob's voice and my eyelids fluttered open. He was leaning heavily on the chair, his face still pale and glistening with sweat. I watched him for a second, and then I remembered that he shouldn't be standing.

"Jacob! Why are you standing up? You need to rest- I don't want you to hurt yourself again!" I jumped up and ran over to him, sliding my arm around his back and putting a hand on his chest to steady him.

"I'm alright, Bella, I'm just really tired still. The bed was starting to get really chilly, so I thought I'd come over here," he said, wincing as my cold hands touched his slowly warming chest. "Woah, feels like you need me over here. Fire not working out so well as a heater?" I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Do you really want to come over here? The bed's a hundred times more comfortable I'm sure. You really need all the rest you can get," I said, watching him apprehensively as he lowered himself down into my little nest and patted the blankets in front of him.

"Yeah, your body heat- what little you have- is definitely worth coming down here for. It'll keep us both warm, me being down here. Then I can control the fire, since you seem to have a knack for killing it," he said, looking at the smoldering remains of the blazing fire with hint of amusement.

I settled down in front of him, watching his face to make sure I wasn't putting pressure on my bruises, but he seemed okay. I leaned back into him and he leaned against the chair I'd moved, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the flat little cushion. As he put his arms around me, though, I couldn't help but shy away from his hands. I had pretty nasty bruises on my arms and my wrist where that vampire had grabbed me, and I didn't want him touching those or I might cry.

We sat like that for a minute, but I continued to shiver. I turned onto my side, pressing my face against Jacob's chest, but I just couldn't get warm. He was shirtless, and he watched me for a second, then he reached for the hem of my longsleeve t-shirt.

"It'll be easier to get warm if you take this off. Heat transfers better from skin to skin," he said with a little smirk, but I couldn't take my shirt off. I shook my head, pushing his hands away from my shirt and back around my waist.

"No, I'll be fine like this." He looked at me, confused.

"Bella, you're _shivering_. Still! If you don't warm up soon, it could be dangerous." He pulled my t-shirt, and I had to admit he was right. No matter how much I didn't want him to see my bruises, I needed to get warm, and fast.

I lowered my arms apprehensively, knowing that he would notice the bruises right away, and he didn't let me down.

"_Bella_. What happened to your…" he trailed off, thinking back to the fight, and then his eyes flashed to my face as it dawned on him. "He got _that_ close? I wasn't thinking… I didn't know he actually grabbed you…" Jacob started to shake, and I knew I had to calm him down.

"Jake, Jake, calm down. It's alright, he didn't hurt me. They're just bruises!" He continued to shake, so I leaned in, kissing him softly. I slid my arms around his shoulders and pressed my body to his, and the shaking slowed, and then stopped eventually. I could feel him trying to focusing on me, his arms encircling my waist as his lips responded to mine. I stayed like that until I was so deprived of oxygen that I was seeing spots and then I turned my head slightly, taking a deep breath. Jacob was breathing heavy too, and he pressed his lips to my neck, taking a deep breath as he did.

"Thanks, Bells, for calming me down. Sorry I got so out of control- it's scary, that he got that close to you. I…" He trailed off, mumbling something at the end that I didn't catch.

"Jake, you shouldn't have gotten so upset over it," I mumbled into his hair. "He didn't actually hurt me- they're only bruises." He sighed into my neck, and I knew he knew I was right.

"Yeah, I know. It's just a reminder, though, of how many times you've gotten that close to a vampire. You looked almost peaceful- definitely not scared. What were you thinking?" He looked at me curiously, but I knew he could already answer that question.

"I didn't want to panic and scream and beg for mercy like I'm sure his other victims did, so I just closed my eyes and pretended like it was Edward. It was easy, actually," I said with a half smile. "I'll never be scared of another vampire again." I had to smile sarcastically as I said that- I had been terrified.


	11. We Have Enough Food to Last Us 'til July

"_I'll never be scared of another vampire again." I had to smile sarcastically as I said that- I had been terrified._

Jake shook his head, closing his eyes and leaning back against the chair again.

"I don't know how you stand the smell… it's revolting. I was gagging as soon as I opened the door." I smiled- to werewolves, vampires smelled disgusting, but to humans like me, they smelled enticingly wonderful.

"Jake, I've told you already, they smell gross to you because you're enemies. To me, he smelled like the perfect cologne. It was so enticing that it actually helped me relax," I said, and Jacob just shook his head.

"I still think they stink. Really bad." I laughed, laying my head on his shoulder. I took a deep breath, smelling Jacob. He smelled good in a different way- while the vampire had smelled enticing, Jacob smelled comforting. He smelled… _human_… and then some. He had a musky, woods-y smell that was comforting in a homey way. It was nice- it made me feel protected and comforted to be near him. He still wasn't giving off his normal, space heater amount of heat, but neither of us was shivering anymore, which I took to be a good sign.

I must've fallen asleep, because suddenly I felt Jacob moving behind me. My eyelids fluttered open and I glanced up at his face- he seemed to be just waking up too. The fire was smoldering in the fireplace, but Jacob was once again my own personal space heater, so I was plenty warm. He smiled down at me.

"Morning, Bells. How are you feeling?" I looked up at him, slightly confused.

"You're asking _me_ how I'm doing? Aren't you the one who just spent half the night screaming in bed? How are _you_?" I didn't want to answer Jacob's question- he could always tell when I was lying, and my bruises were all throbbing in time with my heartbeat. Jake smiled a small, half-smile and he leaned back, putting his arms up behind his head.

"I'm feeling great, considering everything that happened yesterday. I've never been hurt that badly- it's really awesome how quickly my body works. Now really, how are you? Those bruises didn't look…" He trailed off as he saw the bruises on my arms, which were now double the size they were last night, and had turned a nasty greenish yellowish color in the middle, fading to a dark purple around the outside of them. The one on my wrist looked particularly nasty- it was a complete ring around my whole wrist, and there were very distinct finger marks that were an ugly shade of purple. Jacob ran his fingers across them, his face unreadable, but I had to pull away- it hurt too much for him to touch them.

I could feel him watching me as I gently tried to massage my wrist without actually touching the bruise, but I kept my eyes down, avoiding his gaze. It was frustrating, trying to keep him from freaking out over them. I reached across him to get my shirt and I felt a shot of pain travel from my wrist to all five of my fingers and up my arm. It hurt so much that I stopped and closed my eyes, trying not to move my arm until the pain subsided. When it was gone a few seconds later I took a few deep breaths, grabbed my shirt, and then glanced at Jacob to see if he'd noticed- of course he had.

"Bells, what's the matter?" I was at a loss for words- what did I say to keep him calm?

"I… it's nothing. My wrist is just stiff. I wanted to make sure it was stretched out before I picked up my shirt." That was the worst lie I'd ever come up with- he looked at me skeptically with his eyebrows up, and I knew there was _no way_ he'd ever believe that.

"Yeah, right. That was the biggest and lamest lie I've ever heard. What's _really_ the matter?"

"It's… my bruise just hurt. That was the first time I'd stretched it out since it happened, and it… hurt a little. Not a big deal," I said, shrugging to try and fake nonchalance. Jake didn't buy that story anymore than the last one.

"You looked like you were in a little more pain than you're letting on. Maybe you should let me look at it," he said, and he gently took my arm into his hands, being careful not to touch the bruise. I watched him apprehensively, ready to pull my wrist away if he tried to touch it, but he didn't.

"It's just a bruise, Jake. Not that big of a deal," I said, shrugging again.

"It could be fractured, though, which would mean that it should probably be wrapped up." He looked up from my wrist. "Could I put a little pressure on it?" At my look of panic, he quickly reassured me. "It won't be a lot of pressure- just enough to see where it's really bothering you. I'll use _one_ finger, I promise," he said, watching me carefully.

He pressed, very lightly, all around my wrist, and he finally decided that it was fractured or broken or anything, just bruised really bad. Then he checked both my shoulders too, though those bruises weren't bothering me even half as much as my wrist.

"So, what are we really supposed to do here, all day, by ourselves?" I looked at Jacob questioningly after we spent a little while sitting in front of the fire quietly. He looked at me for a second, not saying anything, and then he looked back at the fire.

"Well… we're alone. The only 'person' we've seen since we got here wasn't even a person, so he doesn't count. We're snowed in, probably for at least two more days, maybe more. We have enough food to last us until July… so there's obviously no need to leave," he said, getting closer and talking quieter as he went on. "I'm thinking we stay right in front of this fire…" He was so close now that I could feel his breath on my nose, hot and humid. I closed my eyes and I felt him move closer, his lips barely brushing mine. I took a deep breath, pressing my lips against his.

My hands were around his chest, and I let them travel slowly back around to Jacob's front and up to his shoulders. I could feel him shuddering as my fingers slowly crawled up his skin, but it was a good kind of shuddering, not the kind that scared me. Our lips moved in unison as I let my fingers roam over his skin, and his hands moved across my back, pulling closer and closer to him. It was a wonderful feeling, letting Jacob completely engulf me and giving myself over to my emotions. As my breathing started to get ragged and uneven, Jacob's lips moved up my jawline and then down my neck, so that his mouth was in the hollow of my neck. I could feel his breath, uneven just like mine, and his heart was practically beating out of his chest. I pushed him to the side, and he easily moved the chair out of the way so that we could both lay back. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, holding his head in place as I kissed him, more fiercely than before.

As I twisted my arms and legs around him, and he twisted around me, it felt like we became one being, with only the purpose of being as close and compact as possible. I forgot all about the vampire who had attacked us last night- I didn't think about Jacob's bruises that had just recently disappeared or my bruises that were only getting worse. All I could think about was Jacob- he was all around me, and he was part of me, and I was part of him.

We stayed twisted and curled up for a long time- it felt amazing, having this unadulterated time with Jacob in an actual house with a roof. It was also heartening to think that _this_ was what I had to live with. I had been so worried about dangers and things, but even after all that, we could still have this time together.

I pressed my forehead against Jacob's, moving my lips away from his so that I could catch my breath. As I did, Jacob's lips followed mine- I finally had to actually turn my head to get a full breath.

"What? You're tired already? Come on… that's all you've got?" I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart before I started to talk.

"Jake… not all of us have superhuman strength or endurance. I can't just keep doing this for hours. I need a break, at least for a few minutes. I also didn't have the luxury of being able to practically pass out as soon as you were healed. I was up for hours after that, checking on you every couple minutes to make sure you were still alive!" When I finished, I was breathing heavy, making Jacob laugh as he pressed his lips against my temple.

"Alright, alright, alright, I get it. I'm just too much for you," he said with a shrug, his eyes sparkling with laughter as he watched me. I shook my head, laughing as I held his gaze. Finally he broke the stare and I had to laugh again.

"Ha. It's not that you're too much for _me_… I think it's more of the other way around." I smirked, and Jacob shook his head, wrapping his arms around me and sitting up, moving the chair back into place and grabbing all the blankets, piling them around us. I sighed happily, curling up in his lap and laying my cheek against his chest.


	12. You're Leaving Me Here

**So, it's been a little while... sorry to anybody who's reading this. Not really sure how many readers I've got anymore, but it's worth a try, right? Maybe I'll get a few more from this chapter or the next one that I'm about to put up**

**Please read and REVIEW... I've had A LOT of writer's block, and I don't know where to go next? Should they go down south? Contact somebody back home? Any ideas? PLEASE PLEASE give them to me... I'm begging haha hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**BTW: I obviously don't own any of this shit... it's alllllllll Stephenie Meyer (of course... who else would it be?). So shoot her an email and thank her if you'd like :)**

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"Bella, I've _got _to find them. They passed right by here! What if they're planning on ambushing us? If I follow them, maybe I can surprise them and kill them one by one." Jacob was looking at me, stricken, as he tried to explain why he was leaving me. I shook my head, dropping my face into my hands.

"Jake, they aren't going to come here- they didn't attack us when they came by, so I don't think they're going to come back. I think you should just leave them alone." I didn't want him to go. It was too dangerous- I wasn't going to say that out loud, because he'd scoff at me. "I… I don't know. I just don't want you to go- trying to _ambush_ two vampires doesn't sound like a good idea to me." I kept my face in my hands, hiding my eyes so he couldn't see the fear in them. He never took vampires seriously- it seemed like he thought it was all just a game. I felt his hand on my shoulder, and I sighed, shaking my head.

"Bella, this is what I was made for- I've told you a hundred times. I can't just sit here while there are two vampires in the area- you've got to understand that," he said quietly, sitting down right next to me. I lifted my head, looking him in the eyes so he would understand _me._

"I do get that- you naturally would want to kill them… but you **do** remember what happened last time you tried to take on a vampire by yourself, right? You got 'crushed like a tin can,' to put it in your own words. Jake, what if that happens again and they _kill you_ while you're too weak to protect yourself? I just don't like the idea of you going out there on your own with no one to back you up," I said sadly. "I also know it doesn't matter what I say- you're going to go out there and risk your neck no matter what. It's an instinct thing, and there's nothing I can do to change that." I shook my head slowly, knowing that I was right, and he couldn't deny it. He looked at me for a second, his lips pursed in thought. I kept my gaze on his eyes, trying to get him to understand the severity of what he was about to do.

After a minute of very intense silence, Jake stood up with a sigh.

"Bells, you're right, you can't convince me to stay. This is something I've gotta do- you just have to understand that, which I know you do. I'll be back in three, maybe four days… try not to worry, please? I'll be okay, I promise," he said, reaching down and lifting my chin so I was looking at him. "I'm ready this time. When we got attacked yesterday, I wasn't prepared, but now, they'll be the ones who aren't prepared." He had a devilish, almost evil grin on his face, like he was about to start a game of tag or something, and I felt a shiver go down my spine as I looked into his eyes. For the first time in my life, he was _scaring_ me. I looked away from his bright burning eyes, not wanting to see that look any longer.

"Okay, Jake, have fun I guess. If you don't come back… well, at least I'll know you had _fun_ dying," I said acidly, and I stood up, spinning away from him and going closer to the fire. I could feel his eyes on my back but I didn't turn around. I didn't want to see that maniacal look on his face.

"Bella…" He placed a hand on my shoulder and I ducked away, not even wanting him to touch me. If his life meant this little to him then he could go and do whatever he wanted, with or without my permission. "Bella, why are you being like this? Couldn't you just kiss me and wish me well? Is that so hard to do?" He seemed desperate and maybe even a little angry with me, but suddenly, I was _furious_. I spun around, looking at him as my heart raced ahead of my brain.

"Jacob, don't even try that. You know I would do that… but to me, this is a very pointless conversation. I don't think you even care about those vampires, but they're a reason for you to get out of this house. That's fine, I understand the feeling, but couldn't you find something a little _less_ dangerous to do?" He was looking at me, slightly confused, and my fury was building with every second. "You just don't UNDERSTAND! You don't get how much you _mean_ to me… not only are you the one thing that I'm _living_ for, but you're also the one human I've ever loved like this. I just… I hate seeing you treat your life like it's a game- it's not a game and you don't get a two more lives if you die. What if those vampires smell you from miles off- which I'm sure they will- and they make a plan to ambush _you_. They'll have you trapped with your back against a cliff, and then they'll close in slowly, coming in from each side. Between the two of them, I'm sure that one of them will get their hands around you and crunch you, just like that other vampire did. But instead of focusing on me once you're out of the way, they're just going to kill you. That's it," I said, my tears spilling over and flowing down my cheeks. "Then you'll never come back, and I'll have to live without you." Jacob's face was tortured- he hadn't realized what I'd been thinking. I kept on going, wanting to make sure he visualized the whole thing. "I won't last very long, you know… after six or seven days, it's going to be so cold in here that I'll probably be able to see my breath. That's probably what happened to whoever lived here before us- one of them went on a short trip, maybe a day or two, and there was a snow storm. They probably both died a hundred miles away from each other." I stopped talking as I started to shake, and I had to close my eyes to stop myself from sobbing out loud. Jacob just stood there, shocked, and when I opened my eyes, he was still staring at me, his mouth open.

"Bella, that's not going to happen; the vampires won't know what hit them, I promise. As long as the wind keeps blowing the way it is now, I'll always be able to follow them and keep downwind of them, so I'll be able to smell them, but they won't be able to smell me. I'll be back in a couple days, I promise," he said, and I just stood there, tears running down my face, as he opened the door, gave me one last look, and then closed it behind him. A few seconds later I heard a long, drawn out howl right near the house, and I knew he was actually leaving.

Jacob wasn't like Edward- if I'd told Edward that story he'd have stayed with me and never ever left. Jacob, on the other hand, couldn't be twisted around like that. I should've known that he wouldn't stay… he'd had a restlessness about him for the past day or two, like he was sick and tired of sitting around. Maybe finding a place to stay hadn't been such a good idea… it was proving to be disastrous so far. He had been happier when we'd been on the move, so we should start moving again. Maybe we could catch a freighter or a large boat that was heading toward the tropical islands somewhere- this cold was absolutely miserable.

He'd said he would be gone three or four days- by nightfall on the fourth day, I was panicking. What if- no. No more what-ifs, they only caused me pain, and they were never worth it. Surely it was just taking longer than he'd planned. I fell into a very fitful sleep that night, dreaming about Jacob and vampires and through all my dreams, there was a heart beat in the background, getting slower and slower until it finally stopped and I woke up screaming, my face wet from tears.

**Remember, REVIEW pretty please!**


	13. Cold Cold Cold Everywhere

**Now I'm VERY stuck... I think I might go in the direction of going south, but where? Any ideas? Like I said in the last chapter, PLEASE review whether you've got review or not... I love hearing from anybody (except if you're gonna be stupid and rag on Jacob or Twilight or Bella or any thing at all... so don't be stupid).**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Period. End of story. Wish I did, but I do not. Enjoy!**

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_I fell into a very fitful sleep that night, dreaming about Jacob and vampires. Through all my dreams, there was a heart beat in the background, getting slower and slower until it finally stopped and I woke up screaming, my face wet from tears_

I started a fire and waited all day, not eating, just drinking melted snow. I tried not to think about anything, because everything I thought about caused me heartache. I remember it getting darker outside, and when I woke up, I could see the light filtering through between the logs that built the cabin.

Was he ever coming back? Or had my theory been right and he was dead somewhere… I shuddered, forcing the horrifying image out of my head. He wasn't dead- I would've been able to tell if he was. I forced all the thoughts from my mind again, knowing that worrying wasn't helping anything.

I sat there for another day, shivering uncontrollably now. I tried to keep the fire going, but Jacob had been right- I had a knack for killing it and putting it out. I had to go out and get firewood quite a few times, and when I'd come back in I'd be shivering even worse, since my clothes always got wet from the snow that was up to my knees. It was miserable, and I decided that if he didn't show up in a day, I was leaving and going down south where it was warmer. Maybe I'd go back home to Forks… or maybe not. I couldn't imagine going back to Forks without Jacob and having to deal with all those memories. It even sounded unbearable, and I was sure I wouldn't be able to do that.

But could I really do what I'd sworn I'd do and kill myself? I wasn't sure I could… first of all, because there wasn't anything to _do_ it with. I didn't have a gun, and there was no way I was going to hang myself. Secondly, I wasn't sure how long this 'excursion' was going to take Jacob. Two vampires could be hard to track; what if I killed myself and then he came back- seeing me dead would surely hurt him more than I wanted to think about. So I decided that I'd wait- if I froze to death, then at least I wouldn't have to plan a suicide.

Once I'd made my decision, it was easier to wait for him. I just sat in front of the fire, trying to keep it going, and knowing that eventually, I'd just fall asleep really, really cold and I wouldn't wake up; it would be easy.

As I sat there, shivering, and drifting off to sleep, I knew there was no way I could possibly be any colder than I was at the moment. I couldn't feel my feet or my hands, and I was shivering so violently that I had to keep pulling the blankets over me, because they kept sliding off. The fire started to blur, and suddenly a thought ran through my head that shocked me awake. What if tonight was the night? The fire was big right now, but in a few hours it wouldn't be anything but smoldering remains. Would I still be able to wake up?

When it really came down to it, I didn't want to die like this. I was all alone, in the middle of nowhere, and worried about Jacob- in other words, I was miserable. I wanted to die surrounded by my loved ones, at a ripe old age. I shook out my face, rubbed my eyes, and moved the logs in the fire a little, and then I tried to keep myself awake, but I unsuccessful. My head would start to drop down, and then all of a sudden it would fall onto my shoulder and I'd wake up from the jerk, or the fire would crackle and I'd jump and renew my efforts to stay awake. It was scary, thinking that I might not wake up if I went to sleep, and it was enough to keep me diligent in my efforts.

When I jerked awake again, I was almost completely numb and my eyelids were so heavy I could barely keep them up. The fire was smoldering, not giving off any heat, and I knew, in that moment, that I hadn't been diligent enough to keep myself alive. I was going to die when I went back to sleep, which was inevitable. Jacob wasn't back yet, and it had been more than a week since he had left- he wasn't coming back. As I drifted back asleep, I thought I heard something stirring outside, but I was too exhausted to worry about it. If another vampire was attacking the cabin, then at least I'd die quickly and quietly in my sleep.

My eyelids slid closed, and then I heard my name being called, but it sounded like I was underwater. I was so tired… I just wanted to be left alone… why did someone keep calling my name so persistently? Then, I felt burning hands on my face, but they were gone as quickly as they'd come.

Was there someone in the cabin with me? I couldn't process things very quickly, since my brain was so sluggish, and it took me at least a minute to put two and two together. Once I realized that there was someone in the cabin, I struggled to open my eyes and focus on the person's face. Slowly, I could hear a voice getting closer and clearer, like I was surfacing from a deep lake.

"Bella, _please_, _please_ answer me, I need to hear your voice. Bella, Bella…" His voice was fading and he wasn't looking at my face anymore- his head had fallen to my chest, where he was listening, with his eyes closed, to try and make out the sound of my heartbeat. I watched him, unable to do more than open my eyes, and when he lifted his head, I saw that his eyes were glistening with tears. He saw that my eyes were open and he gasped, his eyes getting big.

"_Bella?_" He whispered so softly that I could barely hear him, but I smiled at him and he broke out into a huge grin, his hands moving to my face. He held my chin carefully with both hands, like I was fragile, and he grimaced a little at the temperature difference. There was such a big difference in our body temperatures that his hands actually felt like they were burning hot, whereas normally they just felt warmer than mine. I closed my eyes tight, trying not to make any noises so he wouldn't know just _how hot_ his hands felt on my cheeks; it was actually painful on my skin, like a hot poker being pressed against my skin. Finally I had to say something- it hurt too much.

"Ja-" I started to talk, and then I tried again, since that had come out as a squeak. I hadn't used my voice for a week, and I had lost it in the process. "Jake," I said in a hoarse whisper. "Your hands… they're hurting my skin. You're _too _hot." He looked at me for a second, perplexed, and then he realized what I meant and he whipped his hands away from my cheeks, looking slightly stricken.

"Bella, haven't you been keeping the fire going?" I nodded and swallowed, preparing to talk again. My voice worked right away.

"Yes, I have, but I would fall asleep and then it would go out again… while I was awake it was always going brightly, though," I said, looking at the embers that were barely glowing in the fireplace. "It's definitely the only reason I lasted this long- I kept going out to get more firewood, and then I'd get wet and have to warm up again." I shook my head, closing my eyes as exhaustion swept over me again. "It was frustrating…" I trailed off, not having the energy to keep talking.

"Bella, how do I keep you warm? I can't touch you- I don't want to cause you pain." He sounded worried, but I knew he'd come up with something, so I just stayed where I was. Then, I felt him wrap his arms around all the blankets wrapped around me. I could feel his warmth, but it was diluted by all the blankets so it wasn't too hot. He kept the blanket between my skin and his, laying his head on my shoulder and pulling me back against his chest. "How's this, Bells? Not too hot?" I shook my head, sighing contently as the warmth seeped slowly through the blankets and into my frozen body. I could feel my heartbeat again after a few minutes and the numbness started to recede.

After an hour or two, I finally felt strong enough, and warm enough, to move the blankets. First, I turned a little and pressed my hand to Jacob's cheek, making sure his skin wasn't still too hot. He was definitely hotter than me, but it wasn't unbearable anymore.

"You want to move the blankets now? I'm not still too hot for your body, am I?" He was completely serious when he asked the question, but I had to laugh a little at the way he'd worded it. He smiled as he watched me laugh, and then I shook my head, pulling all the blankets from in between Jacob and I, laying them over top of both of us. I turned all the way around so that I was facing him, and I pressed my hands to his chest, laying my face against his shoulder and taking a deep breath. Even the air around him was warmer and it felt good to have warm air in my lungs. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, pulling the blankets around my chin and leaning his head on top of my head.

**REVIEW PLEASE! I'm really kind of desperate :)**


	14. I almost died, Jacob

**Jake's back, of course :) Happy ending, blah, blah, blah... it can't stay happy for long!**

**Read and Review, obviously! I really do need some major help here... any ideas may or may not be helpful- that's for me to decide! So post them all!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own. Twilight. Wish I did, but I don't.**

_Even the air around him was warmer and it felt good to have warm air in my lungs. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, pulling the blankets around my chin and leaning his head on top of my head._

When I woke the next morning, I panicked for a second- where was I? Had Jacob come back or had I died and gone on while I was sleeping? I sure hoped that wasn't the case- Jacob would be far more than heartbroken if he found my frozen body in the cabin.

No, I definitely wasn't dead. I could feel my heart beating, and my lungs were drawing in air.

"Bella, you awake? Open your eyes, sweetie," Jacob's soft voice was almost like velvet in my ear, and for just a split second, I flashed back to a different time, almost a different life, when a velvet voice in my ear meant Edward was with me. How different the situation was this time around.

I took a deep breath, opening my eyes and twisting my head so I could see Jacob's face, his eyes bright as he smiled down at me from where his head was leaning against the chair behind him. I reached up, touching his lips lightly with mine, and then I leaned back again, but his lips followed mine. He reached a hand up to my cheek, holding my head gently as he kissed me, and suddenly, I felt like crying. My eyes started to water and my breathing became short and choppy as all the emotions of the past few days welled up and spilled out of me. I pulled my head away as anger also welled up, turning me into a burning ball of emotions that was ready to explode at any moment. Jacob watched me, his face a mask of calmness as my face became screwed up and confused by all the emotions raging inside of me. Finally I couldn't take it anymore.

"Jacob! I am glad you're back, but are you happy? Did you find the excitement you were looking for? Because I'm glad you left me here to die to go find two stupid vampires. I sure hope you actually found them and killed them, because if you didn't and you just left for no reason, I am going to walk out of this cabin right now and go back to Forks," I said, rambling on and knowing that I could never really leave him here. I finished, breathing heavily, and Jacob stayed quiet for a moment, making me even angrier. "Are you going to answer my question? Did you kill the stupid vampires or not? Are you happy you left me here to die, which, by the way, I almost did?"

"I'm sorry, Bella. It took so much longer than I had originally planned. I found them easily, and I killed them when they were hunting, one at a time, so there wasn't really much trouble there. But after they were dead and burned, I had a hard time finding my way back here. It snowed and I couldn't find my tracks, so I had to wander around and try to find your scent or their scent, but it was all covered by the storm," he said, running a hand over his face in frustration. "I've been _trying_ to get back for five days! I thought I'd never be able to find you- I actually slept and ate and traveled as a wolf so I didn't have to face my worry and my fear. In my wolf form, I don't have to think about feelings; I just feel the basic physical feelings. It was terrifying, thinking that I might not see you ever again. I promise I will never leave you again- it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life." He slid both his hands over my cheeks, looking me right in the eyes. I turned my head away, shaking my head.

"I almost _died_, Jacob. Do you understand what it feels like to freeze to death? I do- if you had walked in a couple hours later, I think I would've been dead. I was slipping off the edge of consciousness when you came in and pulled me back with your heat. I felt like I was being burned by a hot poker- there was that much of a heat difference. That scared me more than anything- I was afraid of what your skin might do to my body and if it was even safe to heat my body up like that," I said, looking at the small fire he'd kept going while I slept. I shuddered, thinking back to that moment last night when I had decided that I didn't want to die and I had tried to keep myself awake and moving. It was such a desperate feeling and I never wanted to repeat it, ever again. Jacob wrapped his arms around my shoulders tightly, burying his face deeply in my shoulder as the tears started to fall down my cheeks. Over and over he apologized, promising that he'd never leave me again and that he had made a huge mistake and that he loved me. Eventually the tears stopped, but I didn't turn toward him, I just kept my eyes on the fire.

"Bella, we need to make something for you to eat- it doesn't look like you've even touched the food supply," Jacob said as he surveyed the food we had in the cabin. I shrugged, glancing over at the large pile in the corner.

"It didn't feel right, eating when you weren't here. I ate a little- but not very much," I said, still not making eye contact with him. He pushed the blankets off his legs and the chair back, getting up and heading toward the pile of food. He pulled out a few cans of soup and came back to the fire, pouring them all into the big pot by the fire and hanging it over the fire to heat up. Then he turned and came back toward me, squatting in front of me and looking me right in the eyes.

"Bella, again, I'll say this- I'm _sorry_. I made a mistake when I left you here, and I hope you can forgive me. I know that being here for a week by yourself hasn't been fun or easy, and I want you to know that I will never do it again- You are worth more than that, and you deserve better than me." He looked away as he finished speaking, his hand straying to his forehead. One of his knees fell to the ground as he moved, and I finally looked at him.

He did look thinner and paler- maybe he'd been a little hard on himself on this trip. I reached over, running the back of my fingers down his jaw and his head snapped around so that he was looking at me again.

"Bella," he said in a strangled whisper as he came closer, wrapping his arms around my waist and laying his head in my lap. I sighed, finally letting go of my anger- I couldn't hold a grudge against Jacob, especially not when it was just the two of us, each depending on the other for survival in some way.


	15. Moving South

**Hmm... so this probably could've been two chapters, but I just made it one really long one :) I like this chapter... a lot. I finally figured out where I'm going with the story next!**

**Please, please, please read and review... I need to know what you guys think of the way I'm leading it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Steph Meyer does :( but I CAN take credit for the story line! yay**

**READ AND REVIEW!**

"_Bella," he said in a strangled whisper as he came closer, wrapping his arms around my waist and laying his head in my lap. I sighed, finally letting go of my anger- I couldn't hold a grudge against Jacob, especially not when it was just the two of us, each depending on the other for survival in some way._

"Jacob, it's alright. I can't hold a grudge against you," I said quietly, running my fingers through his hair and down his neck and back. "I understand you being restless here- it wasn't a good idea to settle down. I think we should head down south to somewhere warmer so freezing temperatures aren't even a problem." He didn't say anything, so I just sat still and ran my hands through his soft hair as shadows flickered across the walls from the flames. It was intoxicating, watching the flames dance and jump around each other; the way they licked at the bottom of the pot and flitted from one side to the other, you would almost think they were alive.

That night we picked up and left and I didn't even look back as the small cabin disappeared into the background. I held tight to the thick fur around Jake's neck, burying my face to escape the icy wind that was slicing down to my very bones. My teeth started to chatter as he continued to run, but eventually the wind became slightly warmer- warm enough that I was frozen solid. I picked my head up, looking around at my new surroundings.

There wasn't any snow, which was a huge relief, and the trees were mostly pine and fir trees, so I couldn't see very far in any direction. It looked hauntingly familiar, and I warily slid off Jake's broad back as the sun started to rise. I gave him a questioning look as my feet hit the mossy soft ground, but he just ran off, coming back a minute later in his human form with his shorts on.

"Jake, where are we?" I asked, looking around as I tried to convince myself we _weren't _in Forks. He pulled me into a hug, breathing in deeply as he pressed his lips against my head.

"I don't know, Bella, somewhere farther east. I'd assume in Oregon or something," he mumbled and I relaxed- he hadn't been trying to go to Forks and he was sure we weren't in Forks. He leaned back a little and gave me a quizzical look. "Why?"

"I thought we were in Forks," I said quietly, looking around with new eyes. "But if you don't think we are, then I'm sure we are somewhere else." He nodded and left my side, walking around and finding branches and things for a fire.

"We definitely aren't in Forks, Bella. We're somewhere past the Washington border- I saw the sign as we crossed over, since we were near a highway. But since I don't really know how fast I was running, I'm not sure which state we're in right now," he said with a shrug. "We should probably get a small fire going though, so we can make some dinner before we sleep." I shrugged a little.

"I'm not that hungry," I said, still taking in my surroundings. "We don't really need to make a fire, since you usually just eat wolf. I can just find some plants and stuff to eat and call it a day… or a night, I guess."

"You sure? We haven't eaten since this morning… how could you not be hungry?" I shrugged, sitting down under a low pine tree and motioning for him to sit next to me.

"I don't know, but I'm not. Now go find something to eat so you aren't cranky for the rest of the morning," I said with a smile, and Jacob disappeared quickly. A few seconds later I heard a howl not far off, and then the soft patter of padded feet hitting the mossy ground as Jake went off to find something.

I curled up on the ground, my back against the tree and my knees up to my chest, and closed my eyes, trying to give in to the exhaustion that had been plaguing me for a long time, but I couldn't. I was mentally and physically done, but my instincts to watch my surroundings never let go when I was alone. The only way I could sleep was with Jacob next to me, so I eventually I gave up, dropping my knees and opening my eyes with a heavy sigh as I waited for him to come back to me.

A little while later I heard snuffling and the sounds of tree branches being moved, and I looked over my shoulder as Jake came out of the bushes, still in his wolf form. He saw that I was still up and he tilted his head to the side, looking at me questioningly and making me laugh.

"I can't sleep without you here, Jake," I said quietly. "I'm too paranoid, I guess." He moved closer, his nose pushing underneath my hand that was resting on my leg as he curled up next to me. I shifted closer and put a hand on his nose, rubbing it gently as I ran my fingers through his long fur.

I closed my eyes and leaned against him, shuffling closer still as a cool morning breeze whistled through the trees. He wrapped his tail around my arm, laying it gently on my stomach, and it was so soft and warm that it kept me much warmer.

The words always flowed from my mouth so easily when Jake was in his wolf form, and this time wasn't any different. I started talking about the time we'd spent apart and how I'd missed him. I told him about my contemplation on suicide, and as I spoke of my acceptance, he jumped up, his fur bristling and his teeth showing right in my face. I jumped back, scared half out of my mind by this monster that had just appeared in front of me; it had been such a drastic change that I hadn't been ready at all, and he quickly darted behind a few trees to where I couldn't see him.

Less than thirty seconds later he came back over to where I was sitting, dumbstruck, and he appeared much calmer. I looked up at him, perplexed.

"What… what was that for?" He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair and sitting down next to me.

"Bella, I can't bear to think of you committing suicide, or even _thinking_ about it," he said, a pained look on his face, and my mind quickly flashed back to a two years ago, when this same conversation was taking place, but with someone completely different and in a completely different situation. "If I hadn't made it back-" I put a finger up to his lips, stopping him before he finished.

"_If_ you hadn't made it back, I would not have actually had to commit suicide- I would've frozen to death. I was already losing consciousness when you got there; like I said before, if you'd been there an hour later, I wouldn't have been breathing," I said, trying to end the conversation before any horrible memories surfaced. Suicide had always been a touchy subject for me.

Jacob sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his large, warm hand, a look of apprehension and worry still in his eyes. I reached down, putting a finger under his chin and lifting it until he was looking me in the eyes.

"Jake, don't worry about it, okay? We'll always be together, no matter what happens," I said quietly, leaning in and brushing my lips against his. He quickly succumbed to what his body was telling him to do and slid his hands around my jaw, pulling me toward him for a long, passionate kiss that ended in both of us gasping for air. He leaned his forehead against mine with our noses touching as we both caught our breath, his hands still sitting softly on my face.

"Yes, you're right; we'll always be together, because I'll never be stupid enough to leave you again." I smiled at that, completely content to believe it at the moment.

The ache was starting to set in- all I wanted was to run my hands over his body and kiss him and claim him as mine, and I could see in his eyes that he wanted the same thing. I knew, in that moment, that this time was going to be different.

He kissed me long and hard, his lips pressing urgently against mine, and I kissed him back, running my hands through his thick black hair, not thinking about anything but _him_. I couldn't imagine ever having to let him go, and it was wonderful to have him slide his arms all the way around me, completely blocking out all other things and feelings.

He faltered as he reached for my pants, watching and waiting for me to stop him, but I didn't. We undressed slowly, and when our skin connected again, I felt like I was on fire. My breathing accelerated and my heart started to pound, but Jacob was so careful and gentle that I had nothing to worry about. When, finally, we both collapsed in exhaustion, it was with smiles on our faces and in our hearts.

We fell asleep in each other's arms, and when I woke, the sun was right on the edge of the horizon, about ready to disappear, and I was sweating profusely from Jacob's heat. I extricated myself from his binding arms, and he mumbled and groaned in his sleep, shifting his weight and rolling more onto his back. My stomach was growling now and I was eager to find something to eat. There were lots of twigs and leaves sitting around, so I used them to spell out a note to Jacob, telling him where I'd gone and that I'd be back in a few minutes.

I wandered off, luckily finding a berry bush and a few mushrooms that were edible, all of which I ate ravenously. I headed back toward where Jacob was lying, and I saw him, as I walked over, waking up. He glanced around, down at the note, and then we made eye contact. I waved at him and he smiled, closing his eyes and laying his head back down onto the ground.

I stayed where I was for a second, my eyes wandering over his beautiful body and face, and I blushed quite a lot when I let my gaze wander down his abs to his pants, which had been put back on at some point last night. I bit my lip a tiny bit, remembering what had happened last night, and then I finally walked over to him, giving him a quick kiss and sitting cross-legged next to him, my back leaning against his side. He brought an arm over my lap, wrapping my waist in a warm 'good morning' hug, complete with sunlight-worthy smile, even though his eyes were still closed.

"You find something to eat?" He mumbled and I nodded, and then remembered he couldn't see me.

"Yep, I found a big berry bush and some mushrooms and stuff, which I devoured. Not eating last night wasn't a good idea," I said, giggling a little- _giggling_? Ugh. I needed to stop this giggling thing, it was starting to sicken me. He smiled again as he heard me laugh and opened his eyes, looking up at me.

"Well, then, I guess I'll go find some breakfast and we can continue moving," he mumbled into my ear as he sat up. He planted a kiss on my cheek and then got up, running off into the trees.

He was back a few minutes later, his eyes beckoning for me to get on his back as the dark started to descend. I slid easily right between his shoulders, hugging his sides tightly with my legs, and I settled in for a long ride.

Jake had been running for what seemed like a very long time- I was star gazing, when suddenly he came to a lurching stop, his head snapping up and a low growl escaping his throat.

"Jake?" I looked around warily- had he smelled another vampire? Were we _this_ unlucky? "Jake, what's the matter, please, tell me," I said, knowing very well that he couldn't speak but wanting him to try and tell me a different way- we'd become very good a communicating without words. He turned his head, his large amber eye looking right at me, and I could tell he was worried. "What? What is it?" He rolled his shoulders, signaling for me to get off, and then he started pacing in a circle around me, looking at the forest around us as he did. I gulped- what was he doing?  
"Jake, you've got to tell me what's wrong! Is it a vampire? Do you smell one?" He nodded his huge wolf head and I sucked in a breath, scared of the answer to my next question. "Are there… two?" He shook his head, and I could have sworn there was dread written in his eyes. "Only one?" I was relieved… until he shook his head again, hanging it low and whining loudly. My breathing accelerated again and my mouth was suddenly dry.

"Are there three?" I could barely get the words out, and still he shook his head. My knees almost buckled as the blow of his 'words' struck me. "Four?" He nodded his head, and I let out a sob, my head falling into my hands. He whined again, pushing his nose between my hands and licking my face ever so slightly. I started to cry, then, the tears falling thickly down my cheeks as I buried my head into Jake's fur and wrapped my arms around his neck. He stayed perfectly still, letting me hug him as he kept track of the vampires that were around us somewhere, surely figuring out what Jake's stench was and how to get around him to me.

He stepped away from me, then, and transformed into his human form, pulling his shorts on as I cried into my hands on the ground in a heap.

"Hey, Bells, it's alright. I promise, everything's going to be okay. Just trust me- please look at me," he said, lifting my chin so we made eye contact. "Don't cry- you've got to be strong. I'm going to try and hold them off for as long as possible and maybe someone will hear the fight and come to help- you never know, we could get lucky." I continued to hold his gaze as the tears slowed, and he caressed my cheek with one hand, wiping the tears away.

"That's it, stop crying. It's going to be okay, I promise. I'm _going_ to protect you- I won't let you die this way," he said vehemently, shaking his head as he started to shake ever so slightly. I threw my arms around his neck and instantly the shaking stopped as he wrapped me up in a tight hug. I breathed in deeply, not wanting to forget his woodsy, musky scent, and then I pulled away from him, turning to catch my breath and wipe my eyes.

Was there any way to get him out of the equation? Yes- all they wanted was me. Maybe I could talk with them, reason with them, and they would leave Jake alone and just take me. I would have to ask them to take me far enough away that he couldn't follow, but surely they would see that it was a small, even miniscule, favor to do for someone who they were about to kill. Yes, that is what I would do- talk to them and make them see that killing him wouldn't help them, since he would probably taste extremely foul to them.

Slowly, from the right hand side of the forest that was in front of her, she started to see a figure. The scary thing was, that the figure was hooded… it was wearing a black cape.

**I _distinctly_ remember the Volturi telling Edward that Bella either became a vampire, or died... wonder if that's important or not [*wink, wink, nod, nod*]**

**REVIEW PLEASE! I'm begging you...**


	16. Jane? Alec? Felix?

_My apologies- I'm NOT perfect like we all thought and I actually made a mistake, bringing Quil back into the story when I meant to use Embry! This is the new, updated, and fixed version... I apologize!_

**Next chapter is up! Read & review, of course :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, obvi... just writing about them for the pleasure of everyone who reads!  
**

_Slowly, from the right hand side of the forest that was in front of me, I saw a figure. The scary thing was, that the figure was hooded… it was wearing a black cape._

My breath stopped short in my throat as I continued to stare at the hooded figure as it very, very slowly glided forward, it's movements so graceful and effortless that I wouldn't even guess it was a vampire if I didn't know better- it seemed god-like. With courage I didn't know I'd had, I spoke out, surprising Jacob.

"Wh-Who's there? Jane? Alec? _Felix_?" I even got a little acid into my voice as I spit the last name; knowing I was going to die made speaking easier.

"_Bella_," Jake hissed in my ear. "_Do you __**know**__ these vampires?" _He seemed shocked, and he had every right to be. I just nodded my head, knowing there wasn't any way to explain how I knew them in the time I had, and knowing, in that moment, that Jake was going to die, too. There was no way the Volturi would show him mercy- it wasn't something they did. He was with me, so we would both die, no doubt.

"They live in Italy, call themselves the Volturi. It's where Edward went last year when he tried to get himself killed," I said, trying not to let my emotions take over- I needed to my wits about me if I was going to deal with these four vampires.

"So, Bella, I see you're still human," said a soft, almost tinkling voice that I immediately knew was Jane. I sucked in my breath, knowing we'd have no chance since she would take Jake down sooner than he could even think. It was frustrating, not having a way out. From the other side of the woods I heard a horrible laugh- that would be Felix. Jacob spun around, his back to me as he faced the other two vampires.

"Edward died before he could change me, and his family didn't want to keep me, so they left," I said, trying to make it seem like it hadn't been my fault- would they believe it? I heard Jane's tinkling laughter and I knew it didn't matter if they believed me or not.

"Oh, yes, we know Edward died- Victoria finished him off, did she not? That is, before your werewolf friends tore her and her friend, along with their newborn army, to shreds. It's such a pity we missed that fight. Seemed like a lot of fun," she said, almost whispering the last words. I heard another laugh, definitely a woman, but not one that I recognized. I couldn't look around to see where she was- I had to keep my eyes on Jane. "Aro sent us- he says that you can't stay human, whether Edward is alive or dead. It's too much of a risk. So, you can either come with us so we can change you into a vampire, or be killed. If you do come with us, we _might_ just let your friend go." As she finished talking she pulled down her hood, revealing her pale, pale skin, blood red eyes, and small mouth that was twisted into a half smile.

I swallowed hard- would they let Jake go? I didn't think so… but there was that slim chance, which was enough for me to take it. Being a vampire would be alright- I had almost become one not too long ago, so I was sort of used to the idea. On the other hand, that would mean living without Jake, which I couldn't do.

I was torn- I could take the selfish route and refuse Jane's offer, therefore condemning both of us to death, or I could go with them on the chance that they would let Jake go free.

"Just so you know," Jake growled behind me. "I'm not going to let you walk away from me and join them as a vampire- I'll follow you until they kill me. Bells, I can't live without you, and I'm pretty sure you can't live without me. Let's just try and get away." I swallowed hard- he didn't understand what these vampires could do.

"Jake, these vampires are special- she can bring pain upon you like you've never felt before, and Alec can block out all your senses so that you can't see or smell or taste or feel anything. We can't run from these vampires," I said, shaking my head sadly. "But you're right, I can't live without you." That made up my mind- I wasn't going with them.

"Jane, thank you very much for the offer, but I am going to have to refuse," I said coldly, and Jacob reached for my hand, giving it a squeeze as he dropped his shorts, phasing in seconds right behind me. Jane smiled broadly now, her white teeth cold and hard as she stared right at him.

"No, Jake, be careful!" I reached out, putting my hands on his shoulder as Jane focused on him. He kept four feet planted firmly on the ground, holding Jane's gaze with his own, and I could see the waves of pain washing over him, but he didn't succumb. He kept his feet under him, a growl rumbling from deep within his chest as he fought against the pain, and I had never been more proud of him. When I had gone to the Volturi last year I had seen what Jane could do to and I had never seen anyone hold out like Jacob was. He was being so strong, but there was only so much he could take. I could see it in his eyes- if Jane didn't stop soon, he was going to collapse.

I looked around the small clearing trying to find something that I could use to help him- what could I do?


	17. Quileute Pack to the Rescue

**More of a filler chapter than anything else... other than the little SURPRISE right at the beginning :):) I thought I'd bring back something familiar! I think I know where the next few chapters are going- I hope you're enjoying these so far. If you are, LET ME KNOW! I love hearing people say they like this story... it makes me want to write more!**

**So, here's Chapter 17- Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of these characters... if I DID, I would not be writing on Fanfiction right now, I would be out, spending all the money that Steph Meyer has :)**

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_I looked around the small clearing trying to find something that I could use to help him- what could I do?_

Jake was starting to whine, now, very quietly, but I could hear it and my heart constricted at the sound. Just when I was sure he would collapse, I heard a howl close by.

A _howl_? Where there other werewolves in the area? As the sound slowly registered in my brain, everything happened at once.

The vampires all came closer together, and Jake collapsed in a heap on the ground with a yelp. Behind the vampires, eight- I had to spin in a complete circle in to see them all from where I stood- appeared out of the woods, the biggest of which was a huge, midnight black wolf. I gasped as I watched the Quileute pack ambush the four vampires.

Before Jane or Alec even had time to recognize the threat, two wolves were on both of them, ripping them apart with loud, screeching noises and snarls. It was terrifying to watch, so I turned to Jacob, running a hand over his nose and head as he opened his eyes and tried to get to his feet, struggling so much that he finally just collapsed back onto the ground, his head flopping down at my feet.

"Oh, Jake," I said softly, planting a kiss on top of his head. He closed his eyes, emitting a sound that was a lot like purring, and I smiled, sitting down right next to his head. He huffed loudly and then transformed back into his human form, pulling on his shorts as he rolled onto his back, his head in my lap. I leaned down, kissing him softly, and he reached up, placing a hand on my cheek. "Why don't you try to get up?" I stood up, taking his hand and pulling as hard as I could to help him up.

He stood for a split second on his own and then he stumbled, leaning heavily on my shoulders to steady himself. I brought one of his arms over my shoulder, holding his hand tightly, and I snaked my other arm around his waist, holding him upright with my body. He was really heavy, so we both sort of stumbled over to where the wolves were throwing all the vampire pieces into a big pile. Jacob pulled a lighter out of his back pocket, leaning over to light part of a cloak that was sticking out of the pile, and soon it was all ablaze, giving off a sweet, intoxicating smell as the smoke billowed up into the sky.

The wolves were all in their wolf form still, standing off to the side, so Jake and I angled toward them, making slow but steady progress. Jake started to tremble as we neared them, so I held him tighter, making sure he knew I wasn't going to leave his side. As he got himself under control the trembling slowed until it was barely perceptible, and I knew it was safe to talk to the wolves.

"Could one of you phase back so I can talk to you? I don't have the strength to phase right now," Jake said, shaking his head sadly as he kept his gaze on the ground. One of the wolves stepped forward; he had dark brown, almost chocolate colored fur, and his eyes were shining with excitement.

"Quil?" Jacob smiled as Quil pulled on shorts, a huge grin on his face.

"How are you, dude? You just disappeared, and we didn't know where you went or anything, and then we find you in a fight with four freakin' vampires!" He pulled Jake into a huge and I stood back, letting them talk. A wolf with sandy colored fur came bounding over to me, almost tackling me with a strange looking _grin_ on his face, and I had to laugh.

"Seth?" The wolf wagged his tail hard, his whole body moving as he did, and his tongue lolled out as he looked at me with big shiny eyes. "Well, hey Seth," I said with a smile, giving him a big hug around his neck. "You're getting so big- I don't remember you being this big the last time I saw you in wolf form." He shook his head and then he pushed my shoulder with his nose, almost pushing me over. "Hey, what's the big deal! Why are you pushing me?" Jacob and Quil laughed, and the rest of the wolves huffed and even barked a little, and I could tell they were all laughing at us.

"I think he wants you to turn around so he can phase back without you seeing, Bells," Jake said, laughing a little as I quickly spun around.

"Okay, Bella, I've got my shorts on, now," Seth said, and his voice sounded deeper. I turned around and was surprised that I was looking up at a man now- a man with a huge, teenage grin on his face. He pulled me into a hug, holding me tight and pressing his cheek against my hair, and I hugged him back-I'd missed him.

"I missed you, Seth. You always used to make my day so much better," I said with a small laugh and Seth backed up a step or two, his smile still just as large as he looked me in the eyes.

"Yeah, I missed you too… when you and Jake just peaced like that, we were all worried! But you're back now, so it's all good," he said with a shrug, and I froze, my gaze going to Jacob. He had heard Seth say the same thing, and he made eye contact with me. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, but I decided to be on the safe side just in case.

"Woah, now, slow down. I didn't say we were home- that's for Jacob to decide," I said, holding my hands up in defense. Seth spun around to look at Jacob, but he had averted his gaze and wouldn't look this way.

"I've gotta think about it," he mumbled, and I noticed that he still hadn't looked at Sam. I walked over, sliding my arm through his.

"Why don't we spend the night and think about it- can't hurt, right?" I said gently, looking up at him and making Quil laugh.

"See? Even Bella missed us- you've gotta stay the night, dude," he said, and Seth agreed, so Jacob shrugged.

"Fine, fine, since everybody is _ambushing me_ I suppose we'll stay the night. That is, as long as it's okay with you, Sam," he said, trying to make sure everyone knew who the Alpha was, even though he was back. Sam nodded without a second's hesitation, and I smiled at him, squeezing Jake's arm tightly.

"I don't think telling Charlie we're home is the best idea, though. If we decide to stay then I'll go see him, but I don't want to give him false hope," I said, loud enough for everybody to hear, and they all nodded, wolf and human alike.

We followed them back, Jake phasing and running along next to one of the other wolves- I could never tell them apart when they were all wolves, even though they were all different colors.

We ran for awhile and I could feel Jake's breathing become labored underneath me- that bout with Jane had really taken a lot out of him. As if by instinct, the whole pack slowed a little, giving Jacob the break he needed.

We ran for the rest of the night, taking short walking breaks and things so Jacob didn't collapse, and I actually started to doze on his back, almost falling off in the process.

We finally got to the reservation and my stomach twisted in anticipation. I hoped we could stay- I wanted to see Charlie so badly, but I couldn't let Jacob know that or he would leave without me, and I needed him. I followed him into his small house, and since it was so early, Billy was still asleep- he hadn't been told that Jacob was in the vicinity. Jake decided to go wake him up and let him know we were there before we passed out on his bed. I stayed out on the couch, not wanting to witness the intimacy for fear that I would want to see Charlie too much. I could hear every word though, and it almost broke my heart.

"Dad? Dad, wake up, I'm home," he whispered, trying to wake his dad without scaring him. I heard him say it a few more times and finally Billy mumbled a response.

"Didn't you miss me at all?" Jacob sounded like he was teasing Billy because he was still half asleep, and then I heard the springs in the bed creak.

"Oh my God, Jacob!" I heard some muffled words exchanged, presumably because they were both hugging each other furiously, and I sighed, trying not to think of how Charlie's reaction might differ if I just went and woke him up. He'd be getting up soon to go to work, anyways, so it probably wouldn't be all that early for him.

Jake came back out of his dad's room a few minutes later, and he looked absolutely exhausted.

"I told him not to say anything about us to Charlie," he said quietly as he pulled me up from the couch. I nodded mutely, afraid that if I spoke I would start crying, and followed him into his room. He climbed onto his bed and I curled up next to him, wedging myself between him and the wall. I tried to sleep, I really did, but there was so much running through my head that I couldn't. Jake, on the other hand, was snoring before his head even hit the pillow.

Were we going to stay? Jake and I hadn't even broached the subject yet- he had looked too exhausted to actually hold a conversation as we had lay in bed, so I hadn't said anything. If we didn't stay, would I be able to leave? Coming back here had shown me what I was missing- life was continuing on here with Jake and I, and we were _both_ missing it.

I stayed up for what felt like days, falling in and out of a fitful sleep that only made my exhaustion worse. When I finally felt Jacob stir next to me, the sun was actually starting to set in the sky. His eyes fluttered open and his arm tightened around my waist, where it had been laying all day as I had stared at the ceiling. I sighed, figuring he'd be hungry. Then I smelled something cooking, the scent wafting through the house and smelling so enticing that my stomach growled loudly, making Jacob laugh sleepily.

"Hey, how'd you sleep?" He mumbled, and I gave him a noncommittal grunt, not wanting to explain that I had too much roaming around in my head to sleep, because then we'd have to talk about whether or not we were staying, and I was afraid of that conversation. He kissed my ear softly, his lips traveling down my jaw to my mouth, and I turned my head, accepting his lips with mine and showing him instead of telling him that I loved him.

Soon, he was wide awake, so we both got up, heading into the kitchen to get something to eat.

**Next chapter is in the works now, so it'll be up here in the next two or three days... REVIEW PLEASE :)**


	18. Go Be Moody By Yourself

**Next chapter... tried to look over it for mistakes, but if you see any let me know (just like in the other chapter- thanks to that reviewer!)**

**Hope you're enjoying it... I certainly am enjoying how it's unfolding. Seems to me that a fight's in the brewing... tune in soon for more on that ;)**

**Disclaimer: just like I've said in every single other chapter of this story, I don't own Twilight or any characters from Twilight... I am simply using Steph's creations for my own story!**

_Soon, he was wide awake, so we both got up, heading into the kitchen to get something to eat._

We spent the day hanging around the reservation, walking on the beach and through the forest where we had walked that day he'd told me he was leaving- it seemed like such a long time ago, and yet I knew it had only been a few months.

I wanted to bring up the subject of staying here or going, but Jacob was actually in a bad mood- he seemed to be a bit moody, and he snapped at me a few times until I got fed up.

"Jacob, you don't have to be rude. I know, I can be moody sometimes, and you're allowed to be too, but I don't want to be with you when you're like this. Go be moody by yourself," I said, waving my hand dismissingly as I got up off the sand and headed back up the beach. As I stalked away, thoroughly angered by his stupid comments and snarky remarks, I couldn't help but realize that this was the first time he'd actually snapped directly at me. I didn't even remember what I said- it was something stupid that I hadn't meant to say, but it had just slipped out. He had replied with a sharp word, actually pulling his arm from around my shoulders as he had hit me with his words, making the sting that much worse.

I walked down the road, looking at the other houses in the reservation. Everything seemed so peaceful and easy here, not like it had been here over a year ago, when the pack was waiting anxiously to get into a fight with Victoria and her newborn army. I shuddered a little as I thought back to that time, pulling my arms around my shoulders, sitting down on a small tree stump to try and warm myself up.

I sat there for a few minutes, trying to calm down and warm up a little, then I headed back toward Jacob's house. When I got inside, I wasn't looking forward to facing Jake just yet, but he wasn't in. Billy was in the living room, though, so I went in to talk to him.

"Hey, Bella," he said warmly, giving me a smile that actually reminded me of Jacob, making my stomach twist. I smiled back, sitting on the couch next to his chair with a sigh. He looked around mockingly.

"You two are separated? Where's Jake?" I rolled my eyes, and his smile disappeared. "Is something wrong?" I watched him for a second- could I tell him what was bothering me?

"Well, we aren't talking the way we normally do. There's this problem hanging between us- whether or not we're staying- and neither of us has broached the subject. Every time I try he gets all moody and snaps at me, so finally I just left him on the beach and took a walk," I said, shrugging as I laid my head back in exasperation. He chuckled a little, and I looked at him, confused.

"You two are just both so stubborn. You want to stay here, I can see that, but you don't want Jacob to think you're weak, right?" I hesitated for a second and he raised his eyebrows, looking at me skeptically- I grudgingly nodded in agreement, so he continued. "Well, I know for a fact that he wants to stay here, too, but he doesn't want to admit it because that would make him less of a man, wanting to be where he's comfortable," Billy said, shrugging his shoulders at my incredulous look. "Just trust me; I know how his brain works."

Was Billy right? Did Jake just not want to admit his 'weakness?' He should've known that I wouldn't consider that a weakness, though, right? I sighed.

"Okay, thanks Billy. You actually did help… I'm going to go out and talk to him," I said, standing up again. As I made my way out the door, Billy stopped me.

"Bella, don't ever forget that you have a lot of people in this town that love you, okay? Jacob included, even if he acts stupid and immature sometimes," he called after me, making me smile as I waved goodbye.

I wandered slowly down to the beach, hoping Jake was still down there so we could talk. I got to the sand and looked up and down the water, not seeing him. I sighed heavily, walking over to the large piece of driftwood that we always sat at. I leaned against it, pulling my knees up to my chest and watching the water as it washed up on shore and trying to figure out what I was going to say to Jacob. We hadn't spent more than an hour away from each other for the past few months, and my stomach was already aching from his absence.

Off down the beach I saw a huge russet wolf padding softly down the beach, his eyes on me as he came closer. I stood up, wanting to go to him very badly but knowing that, for some reason, he needed to walk to me, so I stayed where I was, keeping my gaze locked on his.

He stopped a few feet in front of me and lowered his head, still keeping my gaze, and then he… whined. He let out a low, _almost_ imperceptible whine that made the ache become even greater, and I had to go to him. I bounded over the few feet that were in between us, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my face into the soft fur right at the side of his head. He curled his head around my shoulder, his nose pointing down my back as he tried as best he could to hug me back, and we just stood like that for a minute; I tried to focus on breathing in deeply and breathing out slowly, keeping myself calm and collected as I came up with something to say.

I stepped back, ducking out from under Jake's giant head and I stood up straight in front of him, looking him in the eyes.

"Jake, I am sorry that I didn't have the courage to bring up this subject before now. We need to decide if we're staying here or leaving, and I want you to know that I really want to stay," I said, faltering now as the harder part of my speech began. "I… I _really_ want to stay. I want to be able to see Charlie and be with the pack. I don't know if it's possible, staying here, but if it is, I want to do it. If it's not possible, then I will leave with you." My gaze fell to the sand as my eyes burned, but I held in the tears and kept my voice even through my entire speech, and when I lifted my head, Jake was looking at me with his beautiful brown eyes. He watched for another second and then he turned, trotting into the woods to, hopefully, phase back so we could hold an actual conversation. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and leaning against the driftwood, hoping against hope that he felt the same as I did.

Less than ten seconds after he'd disappeared, I could feel heat against my skin and then I felt his hand on my cheek. I kept my eyes closed, leaning forward and burying my face into his shoulder. It felt so familiar and relief spread over my body as the ache disappeared.

He wrapped his arms tight around my shoulders, planting a small kiss on my neck as he hugged me.

"Bella, I'm sorry that we've been gone this long, and I promise we'll stay here. I can't leave again," he whispered into my ear, making me lean back in surprise.

"Really?" I asked, slightly breathless. Were we really going to stay? That meant I could see Charlie, give him a hug when he got back from the station today, like a real daughter. He smiled at my disbelief and nodded his head.

"It's time I take some responsibility for my actions instead of just running from them," he said, his eyes darkening as he thought about Sam and the confrontation that was sure to come soon. "It isn't fair to you to drag you all over the world just because I don't want to be pack leader. Now that I've proved to myself that I can be civil around Sam, I'm sure we can talk and work it out."

I had completely forgotten the _reason_ we'd left in the first place in the heat of my excitement, and suddenly I wasn't so sure about staying.

"Are you sure? Should you wait a little while and let things cool down before you talk to him? I don't want a fight to ensue," I said haltingly and Jacob chuckled a little, shaking his head.

"No, I need to go talk to him right now. I don't want things to stew any longer than they have to," he said, making eye contact with me and sending a shiver down my spine.

"Okay, I'll come with you." We headed up the beach toward the heart of the reservation, and I was nervous, not sure of the outcome of these next few minutes. Would Jacob and Sam be able to talk civilly? I had no idea, and it scared me.


	19. Who Will Be the Chief?

**Here it is! The next chapter... let me know what you think :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight... and I'm getting very sick of typing this disclaimer out...**

"_Okay, I'll come with you." We headed up the beach toward the heart of the reservation, and I was nervous, not sure of the outcome of these next few minutes. Would Jacob and Sam be able to talk civilly? I had no idea, and it scared me._

"I need to talk to Sam," Jacob said, walking into Emily's living room, where the entire wolf pack was assembled, and everyone fell silent, stopping their joking and teasing and focusing on Jacob. Emily stepped forward, her face drawn as she watched Jacob.

"He just stepped out- should be back any minute. Will you wait here?" She motioned to the couch and I lead him over to it, practically forcing him to sit down; he was stiff as a board. I had to do something, or this wasn't going to go well at all.

"Jake," I said quietly, and no one looked over, so I continued. "Jake, you've gotta calm down. This doesn't have to be hostile or violent. He'll understand the problem as soon as you say that we're staying. Please, just relax and try not to think about it too much, okay?" He kept his eyes straight ahead, staring hard at the wall and I grabbed his arm, squeezing tight. My touch seemed to break his mask and he visibly deflated into the cushions, his eyes moving to my face as worry started to spread through all his features.

"Bella, what if I _can't _keep control? What if I lose it as soon as I see him, and I phase and hurt somebody? I don't… I don't want to hurt you, or anybody else," he said, ending on a very quiet note and almost breaking my heart as he dropped his eyes to his hands on his laps.

"Hey, look at me," I said, lifting his chin a little. "You aren't going to hurt anyone- I know you can do this. You've gotta believe me! I've never seen you lose control before, so why should today be any different? We've been in some pretty close situations too… like that time when Alice was in my living room with us, remember? You kept your cool then, so I'm sure you can do it now." He nodded taking a deep breath and glancing at the door.

"He's coming," he mumbled as Sam walked through the door. He knew something was up immediately, and he scanned the room, his eyes stopping at Jacob and his jaw tightening visibly. I saw Jacob swallow hard next to me, and then he stood up. I could see him start to tremble, so I reached out, holding his hand in mine to try and calm him down; it worked. He breathed deeply, closing his eyes for a second and then opening them, the trembles dying down as a new calm overcame him.

"Jake," Sam said gravely, giving him a nod that was obviously a sincere try at a little bit of friendliness- this was just as hard for him as it was for Jake. I glanced back and made eye contact with Emily, seeing my worry and fear mirrored in her eyes as we watched our men confront each other.

"Sam, I need to tell you what I have been thinking so we can try to figure out what to do," Jacob said, surprising me with the civility that was very plain on his voice; he was keeping his cool much better than I had thought he would. Sam looked surprised too, and then he actually broke out into a smile, something I had barely ever seen on Sam's face.

"What's on your mind, Jake?"

"We're staying here, Sam, which presents a problem that I'm sure you have already foreseen. I can't be around you with this… tension in the air," Jacob said, shaking his head sadly and running a hand over his head. "It's too much pressure, and I've decided that I need to step up and take responsibility of the decisions I've made." Sam's eyebrows shot up; Jacob's maturity was surprising him as much as me. I quickly glanced around and almost laughed out loud- the entire pack was completely entranced by Sam and Jacob, their eyes going from one to the other as they spoke, and Embry's mouth was even hanging open, which made me smile with amusement.

"Wow, Jacob, you've grown up. I would happily just let you take over as tribe leader… but I can't do that, and we both know it," he said sadly, shaking his head, and I felt Jacob stiffen next to me, dropping my hand and stepping away from me. "Why don't we go outside? This would probably be a lot easier out there." He motioned for the door and Jacob briskly walked out, followed by Sam and then the rest of us. I went over to Emily, sliding my hand into hers and giving it a squeeze. She glanced at me with a sad smile and together we turned and watched Sam and Jacob. They were standing a ways apart, looking at each other, and Jacob was really starting to tremble now. Sam was still calm, not trembling in the slightest, but it was obvious that the stress was getting to him; his hands were tightly wrapped in fists, his nails digging into his palms to keep himself grounded.

"Jacob, I don't want to kill you or be killed, so could we try to keep this in check? We'll try best of three… whoever barks first each time is the loser. If you win two then you can be chief, and if I win two, you become my second. That sound okay?" He was trying to keep it together- Emily's hand tightened around mine as she watched him, and I felt empathy for her. Jacob, on the other side of the spectrum, was not keeping it together at all. He was vibrating so fast that he didn't have an outline anymore- he was a blurry figure standing in front of me, and I wouldn't have guessed it was him. I looked at him hard, trying to make out his eyes, and then suddenly he stopped moving all together, his form coming back into focus.

His eyes were right on mine, holding me with his burning glare for just a second before he phased, the russet wolf snapping and growling loudly. Sam did the same, his huge midnight form filling up so much space that I was sure Sam had to be standing behind him- how could that much mass come out of Sam? They snapped and growled at each other, and I wasn't sure if they could keep this from escalating into a full blown fight. I swallowed hard, even grimacing and looking away a little when they jumped at each other, but I quickly focused back on them- I couldn't bear looking away for fear that something would happen and I would miss it. I wanted to see every second of every lunge and snap so that I could make sure neither of them were getting out of hand.

At first, the whole 'round' idea worked- Sam half barked, half yelped loudly as Jacob got his teeth around Sam's neck, and Jacob instantly dropped him on the spot, retreating backwards as Sam got up, shaking off. The second time was more horrifying to watch- Sam came back with a vengeance, but Jacob wouldn't give up. At the end of that round, Jacob yelped loudly as Sam actually bit down on the back of his neck, pulling up tufts of fur. Jake had a rather nasty looking bite on his forearm and a slash from near his left ear all the way down to below the right side of his jaw, where Sam had gotten him really good. I swallowed hard- both wolves looked ready to kill each other, and I wasn't sure that the third round was going to be quite as forgiving.

As they ran at each other Sam ducked and caught Jacob right between his rib cage, throwing him onto his back a hundred feet away. He yelped loudly, rolling over and getting up slowly, watching Sam warily as he circled back around toward him, his head low, his ears down, and his tail almost dragging the ground. Their eyes stayed locked, and then suddenly Sam darted forward, trying to get underneath Jacob to get to his neck, but it didn't work. Jacob pinned him down and in slow motion I watched him reach down and wrap his jaw around Sam's neck.

Sam let out a howl as Jake bit down, but luckily he restrained at the last minute and with all the self-restraint he could possibly have had, he pulled his teeth away, snapping at the air and getting off of Sam.

Sam stayed on his back, his paws in the air as he looked at Jacob imploringly, as if begging Jake to let him get up. Jacob stood up as tall as he could and nodded his head down at Sam, and Sam rolled over, slinking away on his belly to go lick his wounds. Jake seemed to let out a deep breath and then he looked around, finding my eyes with his. He put his head down, trotting over to where I was standing, and he pushed his nose under my hand, looking up at me pleadingly.

"Oh, Jake," I said quietly, planting a small kiss on the tip of his nose as I tried not to touch the long gash that ran across it. I shuddered as I looked him over, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Emily slip away, probably to go find Sam, and the rest of the pack dispersed, until it was just the two of us, wolf and girl.


	20. Saying Hello to Charlie

**I am finally ending this super long epic story... I sure hope you all enjoyed it, because I sure did :):) Should I do a few more one-shots? I was thinking about a wedding scene... got to see Edward and Bella's wedding, but I've got a whole different idea for Jacob and Bella's wedding... could be interesting. We'll see... let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, so... enjoy the story I've written using Steph Meyers' characters!**

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"_Oh, Jake," I said quietly, planting a small kiss on the tip of his nose as I tried not to touch the long gash that ran across it. I shuddered as I looked him over, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Emily slip away, probably to go find Sam, and the rest of the pack dispersed, until it was just the two of us, wolf and girl. _

I felt a tear slide down my cheek and I swiped it away, frustrated at my lack of self-control. Jake watched me and then lifted his head, gently rubbing my cheek with the side of his muzzle, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "Maybe you should phase back so I can look at that gash." He adamantly shook his head no and I frowned at him, wondering why he wouldn't.

"Jake, that could be dangerous- why won't you phase back?" He just looked at me, his eyes willing me to understand, and I sighed and shook my head in exasperation. "Okay, whatever you want. I guess you're sleeping outside tonight- I'm not even sure you'll _fit_ in your room when you're a wolf." He whined and I frowned. "Why are you whining at me? I'm not sleep outside with you, no way. It's _freezing_ already, Jake, and I think I've had enough of the cold for one lifetime. I'll sleep in your nice warm bed." I spun on my heels, suddenly frustrated with Jacob for reasons I couldn't explain. I walked off toward his house and he followed me, keeping his nose right next to my shoulder, but I couldn't look at him. Then I remembered something; it was only six, and I still hadn't seen Charlie yet.

I stopped and spun on the spot, looking at Jacob with excitement in my eyes.

"Jake, I need your car! I can go see Charlie now," I said, and Jacob wagged his tail, his tongue lolling out just a little bit. I smiled at him and then practically skipped the rest of the way back to Jacob's front door. "Billy?" I called in a sing-song-y voice and I heard his laugh from across the living room. "Jake is officially leader of the Quilete pack- he's outside since he won't phase back to human- and I'm going to take his car over to Charlie's so I can talk to him, now that we're definitely staying for good." Billy just watched me for a second, processing everything I'd said, and then he broke out into a huge grin, wheeling his way toward the door.

"Charlie will be really glad to see you, Bells," he said as he headed out to see his son and let out a low whistle. "Sam got you pretty good, didn't he Jacob? Well, I don't want to know what he looks like." I laughed a little, shaking my head at Billy's assumption.

"Actually, I think Jake came off worse than Sam- Jake just got in the last word, so he ended up winning the fight. I'll be back later- maybe," I said as I opened the front door and hopped in. "Billy, could you call Charlie and tell him not to eat dinner? Just tell him you've got a surprise waiting for him at home and make sure he knows to go straight to the house." Jake's head snapped around as my words sunk in and I could feel his eyes on the car as I pulled away from the reservation.

I got to the house and found the front door unlocked, but no cruiser. I pushed open the door and flipped on the hallway lights, letting out a long breath I hadn't known I was holding. I fell right back into my old rhythm, opening the pantry and pulling out some pasta to cook. I got out a pot and started some water, and then I wandered around the house, looking for signs of my absence; they were everywhere. I had always been the one to clean the house, so it had fallen into some disarray since my disappearance, even though it was obvious Charlie had _tried _to keep it semi-clean. I headed up the stairs, taking a deep breath before opening my door and walking inside.

Everything was exactly the same as when I'd left- my bed was perfectly made and my window was even open, how I had left it before we left. It had only been a few months, but suddenly it felt like I'd been away for years. I collapsed onto my bed, marveling in the warmth and comfort I found there- it was amazing how easy it was to slip right back into my old life before I'd left with Jacob.

Suddenly, I heard a car pull into the driveway and I jumped up, running downstairs as fast as I could. I watched through a window as Charlie got out of his cruiser, looked quizzically at Jacob's car parked in his driveway, and then started toward the house; I couldn't stand waiting here for him. I threw the door open and flew down the front porch steps, wrapping my arms around his rather large mid-section in a big hug.

He froze for a few seconds, and then he pulled me closer, squeezing me so tight that I couldn't breathe, but I didn't care. It felt so good to hug him, to know he was okay and I was okay and everything was going to be okay now. I felt him start to shudder and shake, and next thing I knew he was _crying_ on my shoulder. Charlie, my dad who could hardly show emotion, was sobbing like a little girl. I laughed a little and grabbed his bag where he'd dropped it on the ground and lead him inside as he tried to talk to me.

"Bells, I can't believe you're home! It seems like it's been so long- it's only been a few months, right? I'm so glad you're home- you even started dinner! I'm so glad you're home, Bells," Charlie said, telling me over and over again how happy he was to see me. We sat down and talked over dinner, and I made up a very nice tale of how we had traveled from town to town, finding places to spend the night and then moving on the next day. I tried to make our journey sound interesting and light hearted, so he wouldn't have to hear the true story. We continued to talk long after we finished dinner, talking about Charlie's job and my friends and what everyone was up to. Charlie told me that he had called my mom as soon as he'd gotten off the phone with Billy and she had gone into a total meltdown. She had then proceeded to call or email everyday and ask if he knew anything about my whereabouts- I apologized for that and then I called her. She was so ecstatic and went on for fifteen or twenty minutes about how she and Charlie had been so worried and how I needed to stop finding guys who got me into trouble. I tried to tell her that Jacob wasn't trouble, but she continued to say it, and eventually I gave up, telling her I was exhausted and that I would call her again sometime soon.

"See? You had your mother half out of her mind with worry," Charlie said, raising his eyebrows at me as I stared at my feet sheepishly.

"I know and I apologize for the hundredth time- I really didn't want to cause you any extra worry or grief." I hoped against hope that he wouldn't ask me to explain why we'd left- I couldn't really tell him that Jacob and Sam would have fought to the death over the pack leadership if we'd stayed, and I really had no other story for him. Luckily, he dropped it at that and asked where Jacob was.

"He was absolutely exhausted by the time we got home, so he's actually sleeping," I said, trying to ignore the ache as it surfaced at the sound of Jake's name. I probably wasn't going to get to see him again tonight, and that was a slightly scary fact- but I was going to have to get used to it. We could spend all day together, but not all night, too. It didn't work that way, and I knew it but just didn't want to admit it. I sighed, saying that I was also exhausted and ready for bed, and Charlie readily let me head upstairs, saying he was getting ready to go to bed, too.

I trudged slowly up the short flight of stairs, not wanting to face my empty bedroom but definitely ready to collapse into my bed. I quickly changed, pulling on my comfortable, _clean_ pajamas and piling my nasty clothes in the corner of my room- I would trash those tomorrow. I laid down on my side, my back to the window, and after a few minutes, I heard my tree moving outside my window and I knew Jacob was coming up. Within a few seconds, I felt his familiar warmth encircle me as he slide under the covers. I turned my head, smiling at him and giving him a kiss.

"Hey, Bells," he said huskily. I laid my head back down on the pillow with a sigh, enjoying the warmth that was spreading through my body.

I was really home, for good. I had Jacob and I had my family and friends here, and now I could do anything I wanted; I sighed happily before drifting off to sleep. When I awoke again, Jacob was gone. I could feel that warm glowing feeling still, but it was different this time. I had dreamt about Edward.

In the dream, I had been in that same forest that I had been in so many years ago, when Edward had told me to love Jacob. I was standing still this time, not running to get anywhere, and Jacob was standing next to me in his human form, a pair of jean shorts slung low over his waist. I could feel his heat radiating off him, sending a warm shiver through my body. He had reached over, taking my left hand in his and intertwining our fingers, making me smile softly at him.

"Bella?" My head had snapped forward at the sound of that beautiful, velvety voice. "Bella, I am so glad you're happy and that you found _balance_. That couldn't have happened with both Jacob and I in your life, so I suppose, in a way, that my death brought about a calmer period of your life," he said, smiling his gorgeous half smile that _still_ made my heart stutter rapidly. "Bella, I love you, and I know now that marrying you and making you a vampire like me would have been a rather unfortunate mistake- humanity suits you." He smiled as he spoke his last words to me, a full blown smile this time, and then I woke up, Jacob's warm fading ever so slightly into the wonderfully warm, soft tingling sensation that I was feeling now. It was an amazing feeling, like a mix between how I felt when Jacob touched and how I felt when Edward touched me, and it made me see that the future was mine now- I could _live it_ however I wanted, and I **knew** I wanted to live it with Jacob.

**REVIEW PLEASE :):) Let me know if you want to hear any other one-shots about the two of them... if you've got an idea that's good enough, then I'll write it!**


	21. Epilogue 1

**This is epilogue 1... I might do one more, maybe from Jacob's point of view? I just love this story so much- I don't want it to end haha**

**I hope you enjoy this one :) I enjoyed writing it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or anything that has anything to do with Twilight... but I do own this story line! Yay :)**

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First Beach was by far my favorite place to go with Jacob- we'd sit on our drift wood and talk for hours about anything and everything we could think of. It was so calming, just talking like that, our fingers intertwined and our hips and shoulders touching, as if we'd been doing it for ever. One day, that spot on the beach became even more special to me.

All day Jacob had been slightly… jumpy. He kept looking at the clock and over his shoulder, and quite a few times he said he needed to go back to his room to 'get something' but he never came out with anything more. I was starting to get suspicious… what was he so nervous about?

The sun was starting to set, so Jacob and I headed back to the house, intending on getting some dinner and then heading out to the bonfire that the Quilete tribe was having tonight. When we got inside though, there was a change of plans.

"Hello, Bella- Jacob- we were going to go down to the beach and have a picnic if you'd like to come. Everyone else is," Emily asked very smoothly, with a smile on her face that seemed to be hiding something else, but before I could figure it out, she turned away.

"Yeah, we'd love to, Emily," I said, glancing at Jacob who hadn't said anything to her. He seemed shocked or speechless or something, so I just let him go- whatever was bothering him would go away eventually or he would talk to me about it. Everyone followed Emily and Sam down to the water with blankets and picked their places on the sand. I looked around- Jared and Kim were with us, Sam and Emily were sitting a little farther away, off to themselves, and Embry, Paul, and even Billy were sharing a big blanket with a few other tribe members I didn't recognize- some older and some younger. A few had their own food, but Emily had packed a lot of food, so Jacob and I headed over to her blanket to get dinner. Someone had brought a stereo system and it was playing soft music, and there were even a few hanging lanterns on small poles scattered around the sand- it all added to the very soft, almost romantic mood.

We sat and ate on our own blanket, making small talk with some of the people around us, and I had to keep glancing at Jacob. He wasn't quite himself, losing the conversation strand or staring off into space, down the beach a ways. It was weird- not like him at all, and growing more suspicious as it continued throughout dinner.

Once he was done eating, Jacob stood up, lending me a hand. We threw our plates and utensils away, and then he asked if I wanted to go for a walk. We walked slowly, side by side, and I reached out, taking his hand in mine. It was sweaty and clammy, but I squeezed it tight and he threw me a smile and leaned over, leaving a kiss on my forehead before turning back forward.

We walked for a minute, and then we came across our usual drift wood spot. He stopped, tugging my hand very gently to get me to sit down on the driftwood, and then sat next to me. I scooted closer, shivering just a little bit in the cold, and I looked back at the spot where we'd just had dinner. The light from the lanterns was making the water shimmer and shine with a warm orange glow. The sunset was beautiful, lending to the lighting even more, and I smiled, closing my eyes for just a second as I listened to the water washing up on shore.

Suddenly, Jacob stood up, placed my hand on the driftwood, and turned so he was facing me. I watched him warily, and he smiled hesitantly at me.

"Bells," he started, speaking very softly, and I continued to watch him- what was he going to say? "I love you, and that's all that matters to me. None of this werewolf-vampire crap- just _you_." He paused for a dramatic effect, I suppose, and then continued. "I know that our lives are both very crazy, and there's a lot going on, but I want to prove to you that I'm **never** going to leave you or hurt you- I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Reality hit me in chest, physically knocking the wind out of me so I was speechless- was he really asking me what I thought he was asking me?

"Isabella Marie Swan, will you marry me?" He knelt on one knee, pulling a small box out of his pocket as he did, and he opened it, holding up a small, sparkling ring. I swallowed hard, at a loss for words. I had always scoffed at those girls who didn't say _anything_ when their boyfriends proposed to them- they were being cruel, leaving them hanging- but I completely understood now. After a few seconds, Jacob's face clouded over just slightly and his eyebrows came together just a tiny bit.

"Bella?" At the sound of his voice I snapped out of it and into motion. I jumped up, taking his face in my hands and practically lifting him up as I brought his lips to mine. Our lips connected with an electricity that made my whole body tingle, and I shivered as his warm arms clamped around my waist, almost vice-like as he pulled me closer and closer. I leaned back ever so slightly when I started to see spots behind my eyelids, taking a deep breath and trying to control my racing heart. As soon as I could talk, I moved my lips to Jacob's ear as I encircled him in a tight hug around his neck.

"_Yes_, Jacob. I will marry you," I whispered, and I could _feel_ him smile as he hugged me back, planting a few kisses on my neck and shoulder. Not soon enough, his lips found mine again, and we picked right back up where we'd left off, our lips moving in soft, warm unison. I lightly ran my tongue across his lower lip and listened satisfactorily as I heard a low growl rumble through his chest. His lips traveled up my jaw and down my neck to the edge of my long sleeve shirt, and then he stopped. He gave me one more kiss on the lips and then he brought his hands around so they were in front of him again. He was still holding the box with the ring in it, and while the box was a little twisted and broken from his lack of concentration while we were kissing, the ring was sitting perfectly in the box, glittering and shining at me as he pulled it out. I swallowed hard, a tiny bit of worry surfacing as I watched him with the ring. This would all work out- it had to- because it was making us happy; there was no way something _bad_ could make us both this happy.

The ring fit perfectly, and he looked up at me, awe plain on his face as he continued to hold my left hand.

"Bella, it fits perfectly," he said, straightening up slowly, and his eyes never left my face. My heart just about exploded as I looked right back into his eyes- now I had my claim on Jacob Black _forever_.

**REVIEW PLEASE :) I LOVE REVIEWS... they quite literally make my day :)**


	22. Should I continue?

So, everyone seems to not want this story to end... should I continue? People could visit... maybe they could go on a honey moon? I thought an ending would be a good idea, but I am definitely up for writing more if you guys are interested.

Review on this chapter and let me know what you think!


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